Post by Sang Réal on Jul 14, 2014 17:09:53 GMT -6
Disclaimer: The following does not reflect the opinions of the Unchained Wrestling Alliance. UWA would like to appologize for anyone the following may offend. Sang Réal, however, refuses to appologize.
“Sinfonies de Fanfares: Rondeau” plays to a montage of various images of Sang Réal, Connor Murphy and Gabriel Krown, in and out of the ring. The last image is of the two in their signature pose; Connor Murphy, standing and looking up with his arms raised in the air, and Gabriel Krown, on one knee in front of Murphy, looking up and his arms raised, both men being illuminated by the golden pyro raining down behind them. The words “Roll Call” and “hosted by Sang Réal” appear on the screen in gold Lucinda Handwriting font.
Seated on high backed leather chairs in what appears to be a library with a fireplace is Sang Réal. Between the chairs is a small table with a pitcher and two glasses of water.
Connor Murphy sits on the right. He is dressed in a black suit, with a dark green tie and his signature gold, round-framed sunglasses. On the left is Gabriel Krown, who is dressed in a light grey suit and a red tie. He is holding a an index card in his hand.
Krown: “Hello. I am Gabriel Krown and this is Connor Murphy and welcome to a very special edition of our highly popular show “Roll Call”, where we take a look at the members of the roster. Tonight is a very special episode. Tonight, we answer the question everyone has been asking since we arrived here in the Unchained Wrestling Alliance, the real hard issues plaguing this company. Tonight, in our forth somewhat annual special episode, we ask Connor Murphy, “Would you f**k her?”.
A montage of the women on the UWA roster is shown as “Would You F**k Her?” appears in gold Lucinda Handwriting font to the instrumental version of "Spanish Flea" made famous by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. After a moment, the scene comes back to Murphy and Krown.
Krown: “Now this is like any other “Roll Call”, except we look at the women of the UWA and ask if my partner here would care to plow them. Now, we realize that this may be degrading to the women of our roster, but we counter with how many of you out there have NOT thought about having sex with anyone of them?”
The second generation technical wrestler taps the card in his hand.
Krown: “That’s what we thought.”
Krown takes a drink of water and sets the glass down while Murphy adjusts his sunglasses.
Krown: “Now, to qualify for this show, the woman in question must be a legitimate wrestler or valet or manager, interviewer or announcer, which means UWA has to be paying them something. We do not accept the random girlfriend or sister that shows up in a promo or whatever. Now, Connor Murphy, are you ready to play?”
Murphy: “Yes. Yes I am.”
An image of Aerynn Donnelly standing on the turnbuckle, with the UWA World Championship raised into the air appears on the screen for a moment.
Krown: “Our first lovely lady is the first ever UWA World Champion and a fellow child of Ireland, Aerynn Donnelly. So, what do you say Connor Murphy?”
Murphy: “Oh yes, definitely with Aerynn. She just has a really nice body and she is Irish. We would have to do it for the glory of the Emerald Isle.”
An image of Dark Camelot’s Alicia Knight, as she walks to the ring before a match, appears on the screen.
Krown: “Next up is the first of Dark Camelot’s femme fatales, Alicia Knight. What do you think of her?”
Murphy: “See, she is cute, but she probably masturbates to Human Centipede, so I have got to say no. I mean a really big no.”
Krown: “And we have our first no, but probably not our last.”
The next image shown is that of a newcomer to UWA, namely “the Hong Kong Sensation” Amy Zing, as she stands at the top of the entrance ramp, with her arms spread out during her signature pose.
Krown: “Next up, we have a two-time repeat contestant in “the Hong Kong Sensation” Amy Zing. She has been a “yes” the first two times she has appeared on this episode. Will she be a “yes” once more?”
Murphy: “Amy Zing will definitely be a yes again. Aside from being Asian, which is a huge plus as the Murphy men have been into Asian chicks long before they knew there was an Asia, Amy is very flexible and acrobatic and those are always pluses.”
Krown: “There you have it ladies and gentlemen, and children who should not be watching this, we have our first three-time “yes” here on this show.”
An image of Ashley and Bethany Kenyon, K.I.S.S. appears. Ashley stands on the apron while Bethany is in the ring, the image clearly taken from before the start of a tag team match.
Krown: “Up next is a first for “Roll Call” as we have a pair of sisters, with Ashley and Bethany Kenyon. Now how about you K.I.S.S. and tell?”
Murphy adjusts his sunglasses and takes a drink of water. He sets the glass down and rubs his chin in thought.
Murphy: “See, you have to say yes to the possibility of having sex with sisters. Sure one of them is a lesbian, but I can make her straight, or at least bi. With twins, it is an automatic yes, but sisters can get a yes too.”
Krown: “Well that is a first for a first. And the kids, who should not be watching this, learned a valuable lesson.”
An image of Jade, a valet to Sin City Knights, standing at ringside, is shown.
Krown: “And how about our next girl, Jade?”
Murphy: “I have to give Jade a yes. She’s got a nice exotic European quality to her and she is a professional. You can not go wrong with a qualified professional.”
Krown: “We’re the educational episode.”
A picture of UWA ring announcer Jamie Hensley, showing her standing in the ring during an introduction, is shown.
Krown: “And up next is the first of two three-time entries onto this show. So, what do you think of Jamie Hensley?”
Murphy: “Hensley has always been a yes. She’s attractive enough.”
The image of Jasmine Shelley, girlfriend and valet to the newly crowned UWA North American Champion, Vince Jones, shows “the Crown Jewel of Wrestling” standing on the outside of the ring looking out towards the crowd.
Krown: “And now we have Jasmine Shelley, the so-called “Crown Jewel of Wrestling”. What do you think of this jewel?”
The current heir to the legendary Irish wrestling family rubs his chin for a moment and nods.
Murphy: “I am down with the swirl, so I am going to say yes. And who knows, she might be ready to trade up from Jones.”
Jeszika Gauiter’s image is shown, depicting Jes inside the ring before a match.
Krown: “Up next is the lovely, the talented, the emotionally questionable Jeszika Gautier. So what do you think of the current Mrs. Montgomery?”
Murphy: “Oh hell no! I don’t need to be having sex with a woman who’d as soon cut it off or accuse me of rape after. This is not that Demi Moore, Michael Douglas movie. I am not doing it with a shrew, no matter how hot she may be.”
Krown: “That’s fair.”
Murphy adjusts his sunglasses, which came slightly askew.
Murphy: “I do have some standards.”
The image of another newcomer, Katarina O’Hara, which appears to be her promotional photo, is shown next.
Krown: “And now we have another newcomer with Katarina O’Hara. So, what do you think about this young piece of talent?”
Murphy: “Yes. You have to say yes to a girl who will more than likely tape it and capture it for posterity.”
Krown: “Isn’t that in the Bro Code or a Man Law?”
Murphy: “No. It’s just common sense.”
The image of Kaylyn James Evans shows “the Perfect Ten” walking along the ring apron as she prepares to enter the ring.
Krown: “Now we have the first and only four-time contestant on this very special “Roll Call”, Kaylyn James Evans. KJE has been a three-time no, but will “the Perfect Ten” finally get a yes?”
Murphy: “I am going to have to say that she is not. See, she is still Chris Vaude’s ex, which means he touched her and honestly, her choice of rebound guys has been questionable, so no.”
Krown: “Oh tough break. Even after the divorce, Vaude is still bringing Kaylyn down
An image of UWA’s play-by-play announcer, Lula Davidson, is shown, depicting Lula at the announce table at the Searing Agony pay-per-view.
Krown: “And what do you say about the “voice of the UWA” Lula Davidson?”
Murphy: “She is a yes. She’s got a great voice you just want to make moan or hear talk dirty.”
Then ext image shown is of another UWA personnel member, the backstage interviewer, Maria Zalis, depicting her with a mic in hand, about to do an interview.
Krown: “And we have another member of the UWA backstage crew with Maria Zalis. And how do we rate her?”
Murphy: “Maria as a nice young girl next door sort of look to her, so I am going to say yes to her. The girl next door look is classic.”
Miako Adachi’s picture shows the Children of Nephilim member standing in the ring, as if praying.
Krown: “I don’t know if you want to do this one, but next up is Miako Adachi.”
Murphy: “I am going to say no, I wouldn’t. Sure there is the Asian factor, but she crazy, so no.”
Krown: “Good call.”
Murphy: “Thanks.”
The second valet of the Sin City Knights, Nicole, is shown. The image depicts Nicole at ringside, standing near the ringpost.
Krown: “Next up is the other one of the Sin City Knights’ lovely ladies of the night, Nicole. And now what do we think of Nicole?”
Murphy: “We think Nicole is a yes. She is a professional and the Mexican part is hot.”
Krown: “And you should always get a professional’s help.”
Murphy: “Indeed you should.”
Yet again, another image of a woman standing at ringside is shown. This time it is that of the manager of K.I.S.S. and Arsenal, Nikki Peltier. The image shows her at ringside, watching a match going on inside the ring.
Krown: “And we now have the brains for the hope of the UWA against the Children of Nephilim in Nikki Peltier, the manager of Arsenal. And what do you say to the brains behind K.I.S.S.?”
Murphy: “I am going to say yes, I’d do her.”
Rina Kirilos’s image shows the relative newcomer to UWA entering the ring for a match.
Krown: “And what do you think of Rina Kirilos? Would you?”
Murphy: “Oh definitely. She’s hot. I would totally tap that.”
An image of Sariel shows the manager/valet of Bene Elohim in the ring, on her knees in prayer.
Krown: “Now this one you have already said you would, but has your opinion changed when it comes to Sariel?”
Reaching to the table, Murphy picks up a glass of water and takes a drink. He then sets the glass down.
Murphy: “Honestly, it has. I am going ot have to say no to her.”
Krown: “Really?”
Murphy: “Yeah. While she has that Asian factor, like Miako, she’s also got that cultist vibe and that’s always a no.”
Krown: “Fair enough.”
An image of Skylar shows the young woman standing in the ring, getting ready to start a match before the bell has sounded.
Krown: “Now we come to Skylar, the object of Craven’s crazy obsession. What do you think of this pale young woman?”
Murphy: “I am going to say yes. I mean sure, it may be hard to tell when I am done or if I got anything on her, and she needs sunlight, but I would still say yes.”
Krown: “That girl is pale.”
Murphy: “She really is.”
Stephanie Miller’s photo shows the backstage interviewer standing in the back texting on her phone and generally looking disinterested in what is going on around here, even though there is a monitor near her, showing the opening of Monday Night Mayhem.
Krown: “We have up next the last of our UWA backstage personnel with Stephanie Miller. So, what do you think of Stephanie?”
Murphy: “I think she is either a bimbo or an airhead and both of those are hot, so it makes her a yes.”
Krown: “And we have a yes for the entire female line up of backstage interviewers here in UWA. Congratulations ladies.”
The other female member of Dark Camelot, Talia Knight, is shown standing on the apron, looking into the ring, ready to compete.
Krown: “You gave Alicia Knight a no, but what about her sister, Talia Knight?”
Murphy: “I also have to give Talia Knight a no. I do not need to nail some chick and wake up in a bathtub filled with ice, a kidney missing a note saying I should get to a hospital. Actually, I don’t think she’d leave the note or the ice. Either way, don’t go with crazy chicks kids.”
Krown: “This really has been educational for all the young children with terrible parents who are watching this.”
Murphy: “Well they need a positive role model.”
Krown: “And now it is time for our last lady on this very special edition of “Roll Call”
A drum roll begins to play and stops as the image of Talon, valet to Sentinel, is shown, depicting her walking to the ring during one of Sentinel’s entrances.
Krown: “Our last lady is a two-time contestant on this show, so please, Connor Murphy, would you f**k Talon?”
Murphy rubs his chin and adjusts his sunglasses, lowering them a bit as if to study her in an attempt to build up suspense. He slips them back into place and nods.
Murphy: “You know what? I do believe that yes, I would indeed. So we can give Talon her second yes on this show.”
Krown tosses the card with the list of names behind him.
Krown: “Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen. With what may be the largest roster of women we have ever brought on our show at a total of twenty-two, we have ourselves sixteen that have earned a “yes” and only six to earn a “no”. I am Gabriel Krown.”
Murphy: “And I am Connor Murphy. This concludes our very special edition of “Roll Call”. As always, that’s Murphy’s Law.”
Krown: “That’s Checkmate.”
Murphy: “We are Sang Réal.”
Krown: And this has been “Roll Call”.”
The scene fades out as “Sinfonies de Fanfares: Rondeau” replays and what appear to be end credits just shoot up the screen as fast as possible in a blur, making them impossible to read.
“Sinfonies de Fanfares: Rondeau” plays to a montage of various images of Sang Réal, Connor Murphy and Gabriel Krown, in and out of the ring. The last image is of the two in their signature pose; Connor Murphy, standing and looking up with his arms raised in the air, and Gabriel Krown, on one knee in front of Murphy, looking up and his arms raised, both men being illuminated by the golden pyro raining down behind them. The words “Roll Call” and “hosted by Sang Réal” appear on the screen in gold Lucinda Handwriting font.
Seated on high backed leather chairs in what appears to be a library with a fireplace is Sang Réal. Between the chairs is a small table with a pitcher and two glasses of water.
Connor Murphy sits on the right. He is dressed in a black suit, with a dark green tie and his signature gold, round-framed sunglasses. On the left is Gabriel Krown, who is dressed in a light grey suit and a red tie. He is holding a an index card in his hand.
Krown: “Hello. I am Gabriel Krown and this is Connor Murphy and welcome to a very special edition of our highly popular show “Roll Call”, where we take a look at the members of the roster. Tonight is a very special episode. Tonight, we answer the question everyone has been asking since we arrived here in the Unchained Wrestling Alliance, the real hard issues plaguing this company. Tonight, in our forth somewhat annual special episode, we ask Connor Murphy, “Would you f**k her?”.
A montage of the women on the UWA roster is shown as “Would You F**k Her?” appears in gold Lucinda Handwriting font to the instrumental version of "Spanish Flea" made famous by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. After a moment, the scene comes back to Murphy and Krown.
Krown: “Now this is like any other “Roll Call”, except we look at the women of the UWA and ask if my partner here would care to plow them. Now, we realize that this may be degrading to the women of our roster, but we counter with how many of you out there have NOT thought about having sex with anyone of them?”
The second generation technical wrestler taps the card in his hand.
Krown: “That’s what we thought.”
Krown takes a drink of water and sets the glass down while Murphy adjusts his sunglasses.
Krown: “Now, to qualify for this show, the woman in question must be a legitimate wrestler or valet or manager, interviewer or announcer, which means UWA has to be paying them something. We do not accept the random girlfriend or sister that shows up in a promo or whatever. Now, Connor Murphy, are you ready to play?”
Murphy: “Yes. Yes I am.”
An image of Aerynn Donnelly standing on the turnbuckle, with the UWA World Championship raised into the air appears on the screen for a moment.
Krown: “Our first lovely lady is the first ever UWA World Champion and a fellow child of Ireland, Aerynn Donnelly. So, what do you say Connor Murphy?”
Murphy: “Oh yes, definitely with Aerynn. She just has a really nice body and she is Irish. We would have to do it for the glory of the Emerald Isle.”
An image of Dark Camelot’s Alicia Knight, as she walks to the ring before a match, appears on the screen.
Krown: “Next up is the first of Dark Camelot’s femme fatales, Alicia Knight. What do you think of her?”
Murphy: “See, she is cute, but she probably masturbates to Human Centipede, so I have got to say no. I mean a really big no.”
Krown: “And we have our first no, but probably not our last.”
The next image shown is that of a newcomer to UWA, namely “the Hong Kong Sensation” Amy Zing, as she stands at the top of the entrance ramp, with her arms spread out during her signature pose.
Krown: “Next up, we have a two-time repeat contestant in “the Hong Kong Sensation” Amy Zing. She has been a “yes” the first two times she has appeared on this episode. Will she be a “yes” once more?”
Murphy: “Amy Zing will definitely be a yes again. Aside from being Asian, which is a huge plus as the Murphy men have been into Asian chicks long before they knew there was an Asia, Amy is very flexible and acrobatic and those are always pluses.”
Krown: “There you have it ladies and gentlemen, and children who should not be watching this, we have our first three-time “yes” here on this show.”
An image of Ashley and Bethany Kenyon, K.I.S.S. appears. Ashley stands on the apron while Bethany is in the ring, the image clearly taken from before the start of a tag team match.
Krown: “Up next is a first for “Roll Call” as we have a pair of sisters, with Ashley and Bethany Kenyon. Now how about you K.I.S.S. and tell?”
Murphy adjusts his sunglasses and takes a drink of water. He sets the glass down and rubs his chin in thought.
Murphy: “See, you have to say yes to the possibility of having sex with sisters. Sure one of them is a lesbian, but I can make her straight, or at least bi. With twins, it is an automatic yes, but sisters can get a yes too.”
Krown: “Well that is a first for a first. And the kids, who should not be watching this, learned a valuable lesson.”
An image of Jade, a valet to Sin City Knights, standing at ringside, is shown.
Krown: “And how about our next girl, Jade?”
Murphy: “I have to give Jade a yes. She’s got a nice exotic European quality to her and she is a professional. You can not go wrong with a qualified professional.”
Krown: “We’re the educational episode.”
A picture of UWA ring announcer Jamie Hensley, showing her standing in the ring during an introduction, is shown.
Krown: “And up next is the first of two three-time entries onto this show. So, what do you think of Jamie Hensley?”
Murphy: “Hensley has always been a yes. She’s attractive enough.”
The image of Jasmine Shelley, girlfriend and valet to the newly crowned UWA North American Champion, Vince Jones, shows “the Crown Jewel of Wrestling” standing on the outside of the ring looking out towards the crowd.
Krown: “And now we have Jasmine Shelley, the so-called “Crown Jewel of Wrestling”. What do you think of this jewel?”
The current heir to the legendary Irish wrestling family rubs his chin for a moment and nods.
Murphy: “I am down with the swirl, so I am going to say yes. And who knows, she might be ready to trade up from Jones.”
Jeszika Gauiter’s image is shown, depicting Jes inside the ring before a match.
Krown: “Up next is the lovely, the talented, the emotionally questionable Jeszika Gautier. So what do you think of the current Mrs. Montgomery?”
Murphy: “Oh hell no! I don’t need to be having sex with a woman who’d as soon cut it off or accuse me of rape after. This is not that Demi Moore, Michael Douglas movie. I am not doing it with a shrew, no matter how hot she may be.”
Krown: “That’s fair.”
Murphy adjusts his sunglasses, which came slightly askew.
Murphy: “I do have some standards.”
The image of another newcomer, Katarina O’Hara, which appears to be her promotional photo, is shown next.
Krown: “And now we have another newcomer with Katarina O’Hara. So, what do you think about this young piece of talent?”
Murphy: “Yes. You have to say yes to a girl who will more than likely tape it and capture it for posterity.”
Krown: “Isn’t that in the Bro Code or a Man Law?”
Murphy: “No. It’s just common sense.”
The image of Kaylyn James Evans shows “the Perfect Ten” walking along the ring apron as she prepares to enter the ring.
Krown: “Now we have the first and only four-time contestant on this very special “Roll Call”, Kaylyn James Evans. KJE has been a three-time no, but will “the Perfect Ten” finally get a yes?”
Murphy: “I am going to have to say that she is not. See, she is still Chris Vaude’s ex, which means he touched her and honestly, her choice of rebound guys has been questionable, so no.”
Krown: “Oh tough break. Even after the divorce, Vaude is still bringing Kaylyn down
An image of UWA’s play-by-play announcer, Lula Davidson, is shown, depicting Lula at the announce table at the Searing Agony pay-per-view.
Krown: “And what do you say about the “voice of the UWA” Lula Davidson?”
Murphy: “She is a yes. She’s got a great voice you just want to make moan or hear talk dirty.”
Then ext image shown is of another UWA personnel member, the backstage interviewer, Maria Zalis, depicting her with a mic in hand, about to do an interview.
Krown: “And we have another member of the UWA backstage crew with Maria Zalis. And how do we rate her?”
Murphy: “Maria as a nice young girl next door sort of look to her, so I am going to say yes to her. The girl next door look is classic.”
Miako Adachi’s picture shows the Children of Nephilim member standing in the ring, as if praying.
Krown: “I don’t know if you want to do this one, but next up is Miako Adachi.”
Murphy: “I am going to say no, I wouldn’t. Sure there is the Asian factor, but she crazy, so no.”
Krown: “Good call.”
Murphy: “Thanks.”
The second valet of the Sin City Knights, Nicole, is shown. The image depicts Nicole at ringside, standing near the ringpost.
Krown: “Next up is the other one of the Sin City Knights’ lovely ladies of the night, Nicole. And now what do we think of Nicole?”
Murphy: “We think Nicole is a yes. She is a professional and the Mexican part is hot.”
Krown: “And you should always get a professional’s help.”
Murphy: “Indeed you should.”
Yet again, another image of a woman standing at ringside is shown. This time it is that of the manager of K.I.S.S. and Arsenal, Nikki Peltier. The image shows her at ringside, watching a match going on inside the ring.
Krown: “And we now have the brains for the hope of the UWA against the Children of Nephilim in Nikki Peltier, the manager of Arsenal. And what do you say to the brains behind K.I.S.S.?”
Murphy: “I am going to say yes, I’d do her.”
Rina Kirilos’s image shows the relative newcomer to UWA entering the ring for a match.
Krown: “And what do you think of Rina Kirilos? Would you?”
Murphy: “Oh definitely. She’s hot. I would totally tap that.”
An image of Sariel shows the manager/valet of Bene Elohim in the ring, on her knees in prayer.
Krown: “Now this one you have already said you would, but has your opinion changed when it comes to Sariel?”
Reaching to the table, Murphy picks up a glass of water and takes a drink. He then sets the glass down.
Murphy: “Honestly, it has. I am going ot have to say no to her.”
Krown: “Really?”
Murphy: “Yeah. While she has that Asian factor, like Miako, she’s also got that cultist vibe and that’s always a no.”
Krown: “Fair enough.”
An image of Skylar shows the young woman standing in the ring, getting ready to start a match before the bell has sounded.
Krown: “Now we come to Skylar, the object of Craven’s crazy obsession. What do you think of this pale young woman?”
Murphy: “I am going to say yes. I mean sure, it may be hard to tell when I am done or if I got anything on her, and she needs sunlight, but I would still say yes.”
Krown: “That girl is pale.”
Murphy: “She really is.”
Stephanie Miller’s photo shows the backstage interviewer standing in the back texting on her phone and generally looking disinterested in what is going on around here, even though there is a monitor near her, showing the opening of Monday Night Mayhem.
Krown: “We have up next the last of our UWA backstage personnel with Stephanie Miller. So, what do you think of Stephanie?”
Murphy: “I think she is either a bimbo or an airhead and both of those are hot, so it makes her a yes.”
Krown: “And we have a yes for the entire female line up of backstage interviewers here in UWA. Congratulations ladies.”
The other female member of Dark Camelot, Talia Knight, is shown standing on the apron, looking into the ring, ready to compete.
Krown: “You gave Alicia Knight a no, but what about her sister, Talia Knight?”
Murphy: “I also have to give Talia Knight a no. I do not need to nail some chick and wake up in a bathtub filled with ice, a kidney missing a note saying I should get to a hospital. Actually, I don’t think she’d leave the note or the ice. Either way, don’t go with crazy chicks kids.”
Krown: “This really has been educational for all the young children with terrible parents who are watching this.”
Murphy: “Well they need a positive role model.”
Krown: “And now it is time for our last lady on this very special edition of “Roll Call”
A drum roll begins to play and stops as the image of Talon, valet to Sentinel, is shown, depicting her walking to the ring during one of Sentinel’s entrances.
Krown: “Our last lady is a two-time contestant on this show, so please, Connor Murphy, would you f**k Talon?”
Murphy rubs his chin and adjusts his sunglasses, lowering them a bit as if to study her in an attempt to build up suspense. He slips them back into place and nods.
Murphy: “You know what? I do believe that yes, I would indeed. So we can give Talon her second yes on this show.”
Krown tosses the card with the list of names behind him.
Krown: “Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen. With what may be the largest roster of women we have ever brought on our show at a total of twenty-two, we have ourselves sixteen that have earned a “yes” and only six to earn a “no”. I am Gabriel Krown.”
Murphy: “And I am Connor Murphy. This concludes our very special edition of “Roll Call”. As always, that’s Murphy’s Law.”
Krown: “That’s Checkmate.”
Murphy: “We are Sang Réal.”
Krown: And this has been “Roll Call”.”
The scene fades out as “Sinfonies de Fanfares: Rondeau” replays and what appear to be end credits just shoot up the screen as fast as possible in a blur, making them impossible to read.