Post by Chris North on Oct 14, 2015 23:21:23 GMT -6
Disclaimer:
What you are about to read is not suitable for all eyes. Proceed at your own risk.
Part 1: Thoughts..
Well folks, the first live Monday Night Mayhem of my new found career if you will has come and gone. We have seen Amy Zing become victorious as well as other hijinks and funny business. However, I suppose that as I always do I have to turn to seriousness. Wait why? Oh well whatever.. Read on my friends and enjoy if you will as we journey into the rabbit hole.
Part 2: Chasin' Rainbows and Huntin Wabbits...
Some say that she played the loveliest tambourine you ever did hear in your life. Others say that she was nothing more than a damn gypsy out to steal every belonging the men of the night had all the way down to their underwear. Then, well hell then there were others who called her mother. One of the ones who called her mother was none other than our hero of the moment in Angel. As we catch up to this unusual behemoth of a man we find him standing quietly at her graveside not a word said as he lays a single rose upon her headstone and nods to her walking across the small graveyard and onto the gravel road. As luck would have it however, his momentary moment of reflection is soon interrupted by a young kid. A kid who by the tone in his voice has been either been running for quite a long time or has ingested too many Twinkies and is just out of shape..
"Sir, excuse me sir, I... I hate to be a bother to ya, but ya happen to have seen my donkey 'round 'ere have ya?"
As Angel looked at this young boy he began to wonder if perhaps he had lost his mind, or fallen asleep and fell into a bad sitcom about the 1800's. The boy you see well he was wearing a pair of blue overalls torn at the knees and a white shirt. Upon his young head filled with curly brown hair sat a worn straw hat. Also strangely odd as the road he walked upon was fully gravel and it was a bit over one hundred degrees today was that the boy wore no shoes upon his feet.
"Now son I'm not sure exactly who it is you think I am, or how long you think it is I've been here. However, the one thing I can assure you is that I have not at all seen your donkey."
"Well sir, I surely had hoped that you had seen my donkey Jack, for you see even though he is an ass to most. Well quite frankly he's like 'nother memeber of our ol' family. Man the last time I can remember seein' him he backed into the electric fence that my dad put up to keep 'im out of the yard."
At this point Angel was most convinced this had to be a bad dream but he figured as the saying goes "Oh What The Hell" and he began to play along with this child.
"Son, have you checked the black market? You see, I'm really sure a hard working ass named Jack would be in high demand."
The kid looked at Angel at this point as if to say what? Angel just smiled and continued playing with the kid..
"Shoot son, he might of even jumped to the stratosphere and be headed into Mexico now. Man, let me tell ya what if he goes down there son you'll never see him again. You see they have this thing they call the Donkey Show. Your Jack, well he may be a little off, but he'll be seeing more asses than the local toilet seat down there. So I guess what I'm getting to in short is this. No kid I haven't seen your damn donkey nor do I care."
Well at this point one could only wonder what the kid was wondering as he ran off into the distance shouting the name of his donkey in Jack. Angel couldn't help but laugh a bit to himself as he continued on down the road for you see to most the humor would of been lost in the situation but a donkey named Jack just was rather odd. It wasn't much longer till another one of the locals found our lovely hero walking down the road.
"You ain't seen a four foot..."
Angel cut the man off before he could start..
"Sir, I haven't seen anything four foot tall since your wife quit coming over, also I haven't seen anything four foot long since your sister put her bra back on so you might as well not even bother asking me."
Our loving hero pushed past the man and continued down the road as he began to wonder if perhaps the food he had eaten late the night before had caused him to become delusional, or perhaps it was the mid day sun. Yeah for now he would blame it on the mid day sun. As he broke the final hill into town he had remembered seeing a small bar seated off to the side of the road. Upon the sign was simply nothing more than three of the letter "S". Our hero figured that this had to be a decent place as there were Harley's lining the parking lot. So of course as one can imagine he made his way into the bar where he was quickly surrounded by a cloud of cigarette smoke and the smell of week old spilled beer. A young woman behind the bar who looked barely old enough to be in school let alone behind the bar was dressed in clothes that had less cotton than the top of an aspirin bottle, Over her shoulder sat a white rag for wipin down the corner and on her face a slight smile that ended in two small dimples upon either side of her sun kissed face. Her blonde hair hung behind her shoulders in a tight pony tail and her piercing ocean blue eyes stared at our hero as he stepped into the room.
"Well now stranger, you gonna stand there with your pecker in your hand lookin like you struck gold or you gonna come on up 'ere and order a drink? You see, I'm real thirsty and you well you look a might bit parched yourself."
For a moment there our hero of the day didn't know whether to be offended or to laugh at what the young woman had said to him. However, she was right he was thirsty and to be honest she was right he was standing there with his perverbial dick in his hand and an expression on his hand that looked as if he had truly just struck gold. Yet, let's be honest here Angel wasn't exactly the "Biker Bar" type. You see he had been on a perilous journey to find himself so the white wife beater he wore from his last episode of "What's behind Door Number One" which once glowed when the sun hit now looked more like a hundred year old wet paper sack. The jeans that he wore, while once blue and starch pressed now were as gray your grandma's hair and had more holes in them then a slice of swiss cheese. His face adorned a beard that looked like Santa discovered just for men and his hair had more grease than a McDonald's cheeseburger. Strangely though, these folks on this day didn't give a damn as he pulled up a stool by the bar the young woman made her way over to him throwing cardboard coaster onto the bar in front of him.
"So what's it gonna be there pig pen?"
"Honestly, young lady I'll just take a beer."
The girl turned her back to our dirty hero and pulled a beer from the glass freezer and cracked the top of it open sliding it to him. For a few moments she left the bar allowing Angel to get a good look of the world he had slipped into. In one corner of the room were two men shooting what appeared to be a friendly game of pool, while in another sat a group of men heckling and teasing at the bar tender as she playfully pushed them away. The constant thought upon our hero's mind is where have I landed? Soon the young lady returns to the bar and leans her back against it next to our hero and looks at him.
"So, pigpen, I can tell ya' ain't from around here what brings ya to these parts?"
Angel wasn't quite sure how to answer this young woman. You see he wasn't really sure how an answer of I'm a professional wrestler would sit with the young girl. So after a moment's thought he quickly opened his mouth to answer her.
"Well Ellie, you see I'm one of them there wrasslers everyone likes to go and watch with 'ere mom an 'em on Monday nights."
Apparently and most would say luckily for our confused hero this young lady's name actually was Ellie and she had one hell of a sense of humor.
"Well, pig pen, I guess you are a big shot after all, If you make all that money from all them big time tv endorsements what the hell you doin' down here in my bar?"
Angel pulled the bottle to his lips taking a quick drink before looking back to Ellie and allowing a slight smile to cross his face..
"Well Ellie, I don't quite have all those endorsements yet. You see I make my "Big Screen Debut" in just two weeks here in town at the local arena down the street against Amy Zing."
"Oh man, I LOVE Amy I mean the way she came out of nowhere and just destroyed that Craven dude last week, Man, you.. you gotta be worried. I mean look at ya pig pen what are ya gonna do stink her to death?"
Our hero honestly for once didn't have a response for that one for you see he didn't know what exactly his game plan was for his big debut against Amy Zing. I mean, honestly we all know deep down inside he had one game plan and that was well..win. I mean we all know to be honest that he wasn't exactly going to charm her to death in the middle of the ring with his dashing, Prince Charming style good looks. For a moment in time at least he sat quietly at the bar his beer in hand just dangling in the air in front of him as he stared into it. After a moment he placed it upon the coaster and turned towards Ellie..
"You know something Ellie, you..You are exactly right."
"The hell you say? You boys over there hearin' this? I'm right. That's right like I say your bartender is ALWAYS right."
The comment she had just made at the amusement of our hero was met with a bunch of jeers from the crowd as Angel sat his beer in front of him and turned to place his back against the bar looking towards the door.
"You see Ellie, as children we are always told that out there.. out there in the real world there are standards, morals, rules, regulations everything that we have to follow. We are always taught as children that the time we have there is the best time that we will ever have. However, Ellie I have to disagree for you see as worried as I am I'm excited for two weeks from now.""You see, my opponent will stand before you and she will talk about how she's a phoenix arisen from the ashes. She will tell you that she is such based on the simple notion that she was injured and "Lost" her television title. However, she battled back, she sunk her chinese mother Theresea style claws into her life and climbed the fabric of time. She pushed, she pulled, and she screamed in both pleasure and agony as she recovered from this "injury". Then like the phoenix rises from the ash she arose and reclaimed her television championship."
"I'm diggin' it pig pen. I mean it's a legit story ya' know.."
A laugh simply escapes the lips of our hero..
"Well let me tell you something about Mrs. Amy Zing. You see this woman loves to fight, but yet claims to be buddahist. Now, if I remember rightly the buddah people they aren't a violent bunch. However, Amy brags about injuring the man she recovered title from. I don't know about you Ellie, but if I spoke strong words I think my actions would be able to back them up."
"Yeah, exactly I mean otherwise you end up eatin' the ol' crow. Trust me it ain't the best tastin' dish out there either."
Angel didn't know exactly what it meant to eat crow, but he was also sure he didn't have the time or the sanity really to ask. So instead he just continued speaking.
"Now earlier today Ellie I met a young man who spoke about his donkey Jack. He said that even though Jack was an ass they still loved him. I guess he was a furry member of the family. Now ol Jack he liked to go around the house and the father he didn't want him there. So you see the daddy he placed an electrical hotwire around the house. Now the donkey didn't know the fence was electric. So that being said he kept doing what he did every day until he hit that wire the first time. The first time he hit that wire he lowered his ears and cried out in pain. Now you would think that he would of learned the first time, but he didn't instead he done it again this time he took off running."
"Uh-Huh.."
"Well you see I said that to say this. Some people are like ol' Jack over there they will see something they like doing and no matter how bad they get a shocking dose of reality they will keep doing it. For example, Amy Zing she loves to defeat people, but she also loves to open her mouth and let shit fall out faster than a 747's bath tank in final decent. Amy you speak of how you've been here and you've been there and how you've done this and how you've done that. Hell, you even mention how a modern day schizophrenic, Charlie Manson wanna be threatened to use your blood as ink to write in a book of skin."
"You see, the difference between this young lady and I is nothing more than lack of body parts, and ten pounds of gold. Now Ellie I'm not going to sit here and tell you I'm just going to smash this young woman into the earth and leave her lay till she burns away, but here is what I can promise you. I can promise you that in two weeks there's going to be collision of goddess and man. The goddess being your loving Chinese Mother Theresea in Amy Zing and the man being well me. You see in this particular instance I'm the heavily weighted underdog, but even hercules was made to have weaknesses. I can tell you that I will find her weaknesses, I will expose her weaknesses, and I hope that I can use them to walk away in two weeks with the big W."
"OK, but honestly there pig pen do you think you can beat her? I mean many have tried over six months and honestly none have been successful she's a bad bitch you know."
Angel smirked a bit here wondering just where in the world this young lady was coming from..
"Ellie, I'm going to leave you with this thought as I walk out of your bar. If you fail to prepare then you prepare to fail. You see, in all of Amy's matches she has not had to prepare because quite frankly no one man has been competition for her. So you would think that like I took notice to the past she would too, you would think that she would take notice to the fact that one man has already beaten her brutally. For you see, they also say that those who do not acknowledge the past and learn from it are destined to repeat it. So honestly do I think I can beat Amy Zing? I don't know only time will tell, but the one thing I can promise you is that in two weeks in this very town Amy will know two things. First, she will know she's been in not just a fight but a war for her very exsistence as she knows it, and for two she will know that I left every breathe and drop of myself I had in the ring with her. I mean with that I can ask nothing more win or lose only time will be the judge. And with that we'll see you next time if there is one."
Could our hero honestly believe in his heart of hearts that he can beat the reigning television champion? I mean one can only think she's already defeated the likes of Craven, and other rather large names. I mean the woman is single handedly out to destroy a man who leads a group of children around playing dress up and thinking he's some sort of God. This honestly would be the biggest starting test of young Angel's life and he knew that he was in for a war and that he must throughly prepare himself. As he left the bar one could only wonder what weighed on his heart as he journeyed on down the street his hands in his pockets his voice echoing into the distance..
"Swing low...sweet chariot..."
_________________________
Composed/Posted with WYSIWYG BBCode Editor