Post by Cornbread Mafia on May 1, 2015 22:56:25 GMT -6
Once again, Cameron Worley sits on the front porch of the Worley Family Trailer drinking from a Dixie cup. He smiles as he sees the camera coming in and stands up, quickly moving to place bottles of Cam’s Hard Apple Cider, Pappy’s Pepsi: Worley Edition, and other assorted alcoholic products where the camera can see the labels.. His brother, Shawn Worley, walks through the front door and nods as Cameron finishes the set up. Their North Carolina accents come flying through, unmistakable as they start talking.
Shawn: Did you make it in time?
Cameron nods.
Cameron: I think so…
Shawn glances across the bottles.
Shawn: Let’s see, Cider, check, Pappy’s II, check, Tedman’s Choice Purple Haze, check, straight Worley Recipe Shine…
Cameron nods, both brothers grinning.
Cameron: That looks like a bit of everything…
They look up and Cameron smiles broadly.
Cameron: Well, howdy, y’all, and welcome back to the Cornbread Mafia “Tore Up From The Floor Up” where today, we have a wide variety of good quality products for y’all to peruse and buy from us when you’re desperately trying to get that horrible taste of Sang Real smug out of y’all’s mouths…
Shawn shrugs.
Shawn: We know they just can’t help it so we felt it was our job…
Cameron shakes her head.
Cameron: naw, Man, it’s our duty to help y’all out with that godawful taste of feeling that always floats into y’all’s heads when you’ve had to listen to people like them tell you how much better off they are than everyone else because…
They turn and shrug to each other.
Shawn: Does they really have a reason other than, “We say so?”
Cameron shakes his head.
Cameron: No, but hey, that worked for that Dinosaur show a long ass time ago, so why not for them too, right?
Shawn grins, nodding his agreement.
Shawn: We’s awesome cause we say so and… well, hell, we say so…
Cameron nods.
‘Cameron: Sounds stupid, don’t it?
Shawn nods.
Shawn: Sure does!
Cameron shrugs.
Cameron: well, we have the solution right here.
Shawn picks up the first bottle.
Shawn: Cam’s Hard Apple Cider…
Cameron nods, almost laughing.
Cameron: For when you just wanna have a taste of that down home flavor that can only come from apples like mine, baby!
Shawn sits that bottle down and picks up the second one.
Shawn: Pappy’s Pepsi: Worley Edition…
Cameron nods.
Cameron: Hell yeah, when your head is spinning so hard from listening to Sang Real spin their bullshit that you’d really rather just be tripping balls because at least then you’d enjoy it!
Shawn sits that one down and picks up the third.
Shawn: Tedman’s Choice Purple Haze…
Cameron can’t help but smile wide.
Cameron: When Sang Real tries to tell you they’ve always been the best and act like they were never Kyle Travis’s bitch boys so you just need to see music and hear color!
Shawn chuckles.
Shawn: Them elephants can be a bitch though…
Cameron shrugs.
Cameron: By the time you’ve gotten to that part, you ain’t give a rat’s ass about nothing anyway!
Shawn nods, sets that bottle down and picks up the fourth one.
Shawn: Straight Worley Recipe Shine…
Cameron licks his lips.
Cameron: When you wanna get bit just as fast as humanly possible so that anything sang Real says might actually make sense…
Shawn’s eyes go wide.
Shawn: You serious?
Cameron nods.
Cameron: As a heart attack!
Shawn looks at the bottle in disbelief.
Shawn: Damn, that’s some serious shit!
Cameron nods proudly.
Cameron: You damn right it is and made right here in the USA!
Shawn places the bottle over his heart.
Shawn: We pledge allegiance, to the shine…
Cameron joins him, placing his hand over his heart as well.
Cameron: One bottle to save us from having to hear that Sang Real bullshit…
Shawn shakes his head as if it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.
Shawn: With liberty and drunkenness for all!
Cameron nods, smiling happily.
Cameron: Amen…
They nod and set the bottle down.
Cameron: cause we ain’t wanna hear that shit no more either!
Shawn: Did you make it in time?
Cameron nods.
Cameron: I think so…
Shawn glances across the bottles.
Shawn: Let’s see, Cider, check, Pappy’s II, check, Tedman’s Choice Purple Haze, check, straight Worley Recipe Shine…
Cameron nods, both brothers grinning.
Cameron: That looks like a bit of everything…
They look up and Cameron smiles broadly.
Cameron: Well, howdy, y’all, and welcome back to the Cornbread Mafia “Tore Up From The Floor Up” where today, we have a wide variety of good quality products for y’all to peruse and buy from us when you’re desperately trying to get that horrible taste of Sang Real smug out of y’all’s mouths…
Shawn shrugs.
Shawn: We know they just can’t help it so we felt it was our job…
Cameron shakes her head.
Cameron: naw, Man, it’s our duty to help y’all out with that godawful taste of feeling that always floats into y’all’s heads when you’ve had to listen to people like them tell you how much better off they are than everyone else because…
They turn and shrug to each other.
Shawn: Does they really have a reason other than, “We say so?”
Cameron shakes his head.
Cameron: No, but hey, that worked for that Dinosaur show a long ass time ago, so why not for them too, right?
Shawn grins, nodding his agreement.
Shawn: We’s awesome cause we say so and… well, hell, we say so…
Cameron nods.
‘Cameron: Sounds stupid, don’t it?
Shawn nods.
Shawn: Sure does!
Cameron shrugs.
Cameron: well, we have the solution right here.
Shawn picks up the first bottle.
Shawn: Cam’s Hard Apple Cider…
Cameron nods, almost laughing.
Cameron: For when you just wanna have a taste of that down home flavor that can only come from apples like mine, baby!
Shawn sits that bottle down and picks up the second one.
Shawn: Pappy’s Pepsi: Worley Edition…
Cameron nods.
Cameron: Hell yeah, when your head is spinning so hard from listening to Sang Real spin their bullshit that you’d really rather just be tripping balls because at least then you’d enjoy it!
Shawn sits that one down and picks up the third.
Shawn: Tedman’s Choice Purple Haze…
Cameron can’t help but smile wide.
Cameron: When Sang Real tries to tell you they’ve always been the best and act like they were never Kyle Travis’s bitch boys so you just need to see music and hear color!
Shawn chuckles.
Shawn: Them elephants can be a bitch though…
Cameron shrugs.
Cameron: By the time you’ve gotten to that part, you ain’t give a rat’s ass about nothing anyway!
Shawn nods, sets that bottle down and picks up the fourth one.
Shawn: Straight Worley Recipe Shine…
Cameron licks his lips.
Cameron: When you wanna get bit just as fast as humanly possible so that anything sang Real says might actually make sense…
Shawn’s eyes go wide.
Shawn: You serious?
Cameron nods.
Cameron: As a heart attack!
Shawn looks at the bottle in disbelief.
Shawn: Damn, that’s some serious shit!
Cameron nods proudly.
Cameron: You damn right it is and made right here in the USA!
Shawn places the bottle over his heart.
Shawn: We pledge allegiance, to the shine…
Cameron joins him, placing his hand over his heart as well.
Cameron: One bottle to save us from having to hear that Sang Real bullshit…
Shawn shakes his head as if it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.
Shawn: With liberty and drunkenness for all!
Cameron nods, smiling happily.
Cameron: Amen…
They nod and set the bottle down.
Cameron: cause we ain’t wanna hear that shit no more either!
