Post by vincejones on Feb 4, 2015 23:56:42 GMT -6
The camera fades into a packed bar where a huge crowd is on hand for the NFL Super Bowl between the New England Patriots and the Seattle Seahawks. The bar is absolutely buzzing with excitement as the game is now in the final minutes. As the camera pans around the room we catch sight of Vince Jones and his brother Keshawn Jones. Vince appears to be brooding at the moment while his brother Keshawn is living it up drinking bottle after bottle. Vince begins speaking slightly slurring his words.
Vince Jones: Yooo...what the fuck, KJ?
Vince slams his fist down on their table shaking their drinks and nearly knocking them over. Keshawn immediately snatches up his bottle of Coors and rolls his eyes at his brother, Vince.
Keshawn Jones: Bruh, you need to calm that shit down a bit! You almost knocked my damn beer ova and shit!
Vince lays his palm down flat on the table and takes a quick swig from his bottle of Corona and sets it back down on the tabletop. He takes a deep breath and leans back in his chair.
Vince Jones: It just not right, man! That homo, Romo, and his fuckin' Cowboys reppin' us in the playoffs and shit this yee-ah? And what the fuck did those mahfuckas do? Not a damn thing! What? They beat Detroit and then they got that ass waxed against Rodgers and the Pack in Lambeau! That should've been us, man! Yo man's simply sayin' that shoulda been us!
Keshawn snickers at the thought.
Keshawn Jones: What? Gettin' our asses waxed against the Pack in the cold and shit?? You buggin', bruh! You seriously buggin' now!
Vince shakes his head in disappointment.
Vince Jones: See...you one of them mahfuckas, man! You one of them!
Keshawn looks back at Vince in shock.
Keshawn Jones: What the fuck you mean...one of them?
Vince Jones: (points a finger at Keshawn) Oh you know exactly what the fuck V talkin' about here, son! Yo man's here remembah yo punk ass shoutin' from the fuckin' rooftops and shit when we won that shit back in Oh Eight ! You were all Giants fo life and shit just like all the rest of 'em! Then we win that shit again and you poppin' off at the mouth about how our boys were here to fuckin' stay and shit! Now you gonna dog 'em! Afta all the shit they did for you? Now you gonna dog our fuckin' team and shit?? C'mon man!
Vince turns away from Keshawn and sneers at the pure thought of his brother at the moment.
Keshawn Jones: Bruh, you serious? C'mon, dawg! We talkin' about the G-Men here! What the fuck they doin' for me lately? Not a damn thing and you know that shit! They all fuckin' up, hardcore!
Vince Jones: Man, shut the fuck up with all that!! What? Surprised yo bitch ass not out here right now wearin' some Tom Brady shit, you fuckin' bandwagon ass mahfucka!
Keshawn Jones: Hmph! Say whateva; but, you can't knock that Brady and the Pats bout to take down anotha!
Vince Jones just sits there in silence as the crowd in the bar quickly become more intense and concerned as the game gets closer and closer to the end.
Keshawn Jones: (chuckling to himself) Yeah! That shut you up! Where you at now, bruh? Where you at now, huh?? Simply silenced...
Vince Jones: Yo! Just be careful while you bobbin' that head of yours while you suckin' Tom Brady's dick and shit, man! That's all yo man's asks! Aight?? Wouldn't want ya to catch that whiplash!
Keshawn Jones: Yo! Why you buggin' man?? Its the truth! The Pats are soon to be the best in the damn game yet again! Its a fact! Fuck that Deflate-Gate, Spy-Gate, Apple-Gate, Porn-Gate, or whateva mahfuckin' gates they wanna dig up against Brady, Belichek, Gronk, and the rest of their damn team! Its about to be a wrap, bruh! That's all that can be said about that shit!
Vince Jones: (snarling) Man, fuck them mahfuckin' Pats! V don't give a fuck if they in the damn Supa Bowl or not!
Keshawn immediately cuts Vince off while throwing up his hands.
Keshawn Jones: But its a wrap! Its a wrap, son!
Vince Jones: Nah, son! Fuck that! Who walked out with that damn Lombardi shit the last time we played Brady?? It was those G-Men, son!
Vince Jones starts pounding his chest.
Vince Jones: It be like that! We got that fuckin' antidote for them mahfuckas! And that's real, baby! That's real!
Keshawn laughs outloud as he downs the rest of his Coors bottle and beckons a server from across the room to bring another his way.
Keshawn Jones: Get da fuck outta here, man! Yeah. We got the antidote for them; but, what about the rest of the damn league?
Vince Jones lets out a sigh and rolls his eyes at the thought of it.
Vince Jones: Damn!Why can't Coughlin get his fuckin' shit togetha, son? We won this shit (points at the screen) twice in the past fuckin' eight yee-ahs! That's all yo mans sayin' here right now! We got a mahfucka like Odell Beckham june-ya at wideout grabbin' every mahfuckin' ball comin' his damn way! We got Manning who supposed to be...
Keshawn Jones (cuts in) But he not livin' up to the hype! And you know this...
Vince Jones: Man, fuck you! Ya Tom Brady dick ridin' sonuvabitch!
All of a sudden Keshawn Jones motions for Vince Jones to be quiet as the whole room suddenly becomes extremely intense in the final moments of the game. Keshawn points towards the screen as the Seahawks wideout makes a ridiculous catch downfield. The whole bar goes into a nervous frenzy. Keshawn nearly jumps out of his seat.
Keshawn Jones: YOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Did you see that shit?? What the fuck was that, man? Ahhh shit!!!
"And Tom Brady had that look on his face like you've got to be kidding me! Not again!"
"You go back to Super Bowl forty-two. Tyree makes the catch..."
Vince Jones nods his head in smiles.
Vince Jones: Mahfuckin' Tyree, son!
All of a sudden Keshawn beckons for Vince to be quiet as they watch the t.v for what could be one of the final plays of the game. Everyone in the crowded bar all hold their breath as Russell Wilson lets loose a bullet to the end zone. The ball is immediately picked off by Malcolm Brown of the Pats. Vince and Keshawn all look at the t.v in shock at the misplay as the whole bar errupts in what appears to be a mix of rejoicing and groaning. Vince flips smashes his beer on the floor and nearly flips the table over as Keshawn shrugs his shoulders totally confused by what just happened.
Keshawn Jones: I mean...guess we callin' the Pats the champs, son!
Vince Jones: Fuck that shit! Marshawn Lynch in yo fuckin' backfield and you don't run that shit?? You don't fuckin' run that shit right there?? Its the fuckin' half yard mark and shit! What the fuck was the coach thinking??
Keshawn Jones: I mean it is what it is now.
Vince Jones: Nah, son!
Keshawn Jones: Its done, son! What else you want??
All of a sudden two burly men come barreling past Vince and Keshawn's table yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs, one wearing a Gronkowski jersey and the other in a Tom Brady.
The Pats Fans: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! THE PATS ARE BACK!!! THE PATS ARE BACK!!!!
The two men continue jumping up and down and hugging one another as Vince Jones rolls his eyes in disgust.
Vince Jones: Man, fuck them mahfuckin' Pats!!
The two men hear Vince's remark and the suddenly come to an immediate stand still.
Fan #1: What??
Fan #2: (to Fan #1) Don't worry about that! Probably anotha haytah like all the rest of them out there! Its alright! We just won it all! So fuck that guy!
Vince hears this and a tingle runs up and down his spine as his eyes narrow on the two Pats fans. Vince slowly rises to his feet.
Vince Jones: Whoa, whoa whoa, whoooooa! Hold the fuckin' phone here, son! Fuck who? Fuck who???
Fan # 1 turns around and steps up in the face of Vince Jones.
Fan #1: You might've been a little hard of hearing; but, I believe my pal ova here said fuck...
The man jabs Vince Jones in the chest with his finger.
Fan #1: ...you!
Vince immediately slaps the man's hand away, steps up nose to nose with him, and snarls.
Vince Jones: Do that shit again, son!
Keshawn Jones finally notices what's about to go down and he begins easing himself out of his chair as well to rise up to his feet. Fan #2 steps towards Vince and squares up.
Fan #2: Or else what, huh?? Or else what??? What you planning on doing??
All of a sudden the scene is suddenly paused and the low, gruff voice of Vince Jones is heard speaking in the background as the camera fades out into a dark room where a t.v screen shows the paused image from the bar. We now see Vince Jones himself come strolling out from behind the screen armed with his Louisville slugger bat and rather confident smirk plastered across his face.
Vince Jones: Pauly boy, you and V haven't had the chance to meet before now.
Vince stops in his tracks and begins nodding his head.
Vince Jones: (points to himself) They call yo mans here The One Man Dynasty...
He raises one finger.
Vince Jones: ....aka The Conqueror, The Killa, and The King...
Vince raises a second finger
Vince Jones: ....aka NYC's Most Rough, Rugged, and Raw...
He raises a third finger
Vince Jones: ....aka The Career Killa...
He raises a fourth finger.
Vince Jones: ....aka Mr. AKA Himself...
He raises up his thumb.
Vince Jones: ....aka The Violence....with the last one yo mans here mentioned being the only fuckin' name a simple ass small tymah like you...
He points at the camera.
Vince Jones: need to be worried about.
Vince Jones begins chuckling to himself softly.
Vince Jones: But you seem like somewhat of a smart guy and shit so you prolly already figga'd that out by now.
Vince begins pacing across the floor very slowly.
Vince Jones: But why? Why all the names, huh? Why all the names for yo mans here, Pauly boy?
Vince immediately cups his chin in thought.
Vince Jones: Hmmmm...do cats ask why God has so many fuckin' names, huh? Do cats ask why Satan got so many fuckin' names and shit? Nah, son! Why??
He stops in his tracks and immediately turns and faces the camera pointing the baseball bat in the same direction.
Vince Jones: Cuz Jonesy a big deal! He's a big fuckin' deal, son! Whetha you love the man or you hate the fuckin' man people seem to not be able to avoid talkin' about yo mans here! Its like those mahfuckin' Pats and shit! Jonesy hates them! They fuckin' cheat and shit here and there; but, V can't deny that those mahfuckas not on point when it comes down to it! They the mahfuckin' champs! They one of those greatest eva type of squads, son!
Vince Jones shakes his head in disappointment as he lowers the baseball bat to his side.
Vince Jones: Pauly boy, you run off at the mouth about these comparison between you...
Vince points a finger at the camera.
Vince Jones: ....and Jonesy here like you supposed to be acknowledged! Like you and V on the same fuckin' level and shit! Jonesy the one starin' you in the eyes? Nah son! You gonna have to correct that shit real quick cuz you and V not on the same level! Its more like you lookin' up to a man like V! You think all this time that V been in the UWA that he could've given two fucks about a guy like you?? Jonesy doin' big things! He makin' waves, sendin' tremors up and down the whole UWA universe and he neva heard of you, not once! Its like the Seahawks and the Pats! Yeah...they accomplished somethin' special once upon a time; but, the fairy tale is ova! They stepped up to the real fuckin' deal and they got brought down to Earth!
Vince Jones laughs to himself.
Vince Jones: The time was short, the time was nice; but, that time as short-lived as it felt is ova! Recognize who you fuckin' with! Don't end up like these mahfuckas when you step up to the Jones at Monday Night Mayhem, son...
Vince turns and points at the screen as the scene is unpaused and Vince and his brother Keshawn blow up and start brawling in the bar with the two Patriot fans. Vince Jones turns back around and faces the camera flashing the hand sign of the EDW.
Vince Jones: Nuff said!
Vince Jones: Yooo...what the fuck, KJ?
Vince slams his fist down on their table shaking their drinks and nearly knocking them over. Keshawn immediately snatches up his bottle of Coors and rolls his eyes at his brother, Vince.
Keshawn Jones: Bruh, you need to calm that shit down a bit! You almost knocked my damn beer ova and shit!
Vince lays his palm down flat on the table and takes a quick swig from his bottle of Corona and sets it back down on the tabletop. He takes a deep breath and leans back in his chair.
Vince Jones: It just not right, man! That homo, Romo, and his fuckin' Cowboys reppin' us in the playoffs and shit this yee-ah? And what the fuck did those mahfuckas do? Not a damn thing! What? They beat Detroit and then they got that ass waxed against Rodgers and the Pack in Lambeau! That should've been us, man! Yo man's simply sayin' that shoulda been us!
Keshawn snickers at the thought.
Keshawn Jones: What? Gettin' our asses waxed against the Pack in the cold and shit?? You buggin', bruh! You seriously buggin' now!
Vince shakes his head in disappointment.
Vince Jones: See...you one of them mahfuckas, man! You one of them!
Keshawn looks back at Vince in shock.
Keshawn Jones: What the fuck you mean...one of them?
Vince Jones: (points a finger at Keshawn) Oh you know exactly what the fuck V talkin' about here, son! Yo man's here remembah yo punk ass shoutin' from the fuckin' rooftops and shit when we won that shit back in Oh Eight ! You were all Giants fo life and shit just like all the rest of 'em! Then we win that shit again and you poppin' off at the mouth about how our boys were here to fuckin' stay and shit! Now you gonna dog 'em! Afta all the shit they did for you? Now you gonna dog our fuckin' team and shit?? C'mon man!
Vince turns away from Keshawn and sneers at the pure thought of his brother at the moment.
Keshawn Jones: Bruh, you serious? C'mon, dawg! We talkin' about the G-Men here! What the fuck they doin' for me lately? Not a damn thing and you know that shit! They all fuckin' up, hardcore!
Vince Jones: Man, shut the fuck up with all that!! What? Surprised yo bitch ass not out here right now wearin' some Tom Brady shit, you fuckin' bandwagon ass mahfucka!
Keshawn Jones: Hmph! Say whateva; but, you can't knock that Brady and the Pats bout to take down anotha!
Vince Jones just sits there in silence as the crowd in the bar quickly become more intense and concerned as the game gets closer and closer to the end.
Keshawn Jones: (chuckling to himself) Yeah! That shut you up! Where you at now, bruh? Where you at now, huh?? Simply silenced...
Vince Jones: Yo! Just be careful while you bobbin' that head of yours while you suckin' Tom Brady's dick and shit, man! That's all yo man's asks! Aight?? Wouldn't want ya to catch that whiplash!
Keshawn Jones: Yo! Why you buggin' man?? Its the truth! The Pats are soon to be the best in the damn game yet again! Its a fact! Fuck that Deflate-Gate, Spy-Gate, Apple-Gate, Porn-Gate, or whateva mahfuckin' gates they wanna dig up against Brady, Belichek, Gronk, and the rest of their damn team! Its about to be a wrap, bruh! That's all that can be said about that shit!
Vince Jones: (snarling) Man, fuck them mahfuckin' Pats! V don't give a fuck if they in the damn Supa Bowl or not!
Keshawn immediately cuts Vince off while throwing up his hands.
Keshawn Jones: But its a wrap! Its a wrap, son!
Vince Jones: Nah, son! Fuck that! Who walked out with that damn Lombardi shit the last time we played Brady?? It was those G-Men, son!
Vince Jones starts pounding his chest.
Vince Jones: It be like that! We got that fuckin' antidote for them mahfuckas! And that's real, baby! That's real!
Keshawn laughs outloud as he downs the rest of his Coors bottle and beckons a server from across the room to bring another his way.
Keshawn Jones: Get da fuck outta here, man! Yeah. We got the antidote for them; but, what about the rest of the damn league?
Vince Jones lets out a sigh and rolls his eyes at the thought of it.
Vince Jones: Damn!Why can't Coughlin get his fuckin' shit togetha, son? We won this shit (points at the screen) twice in the past fuckin' eight yee-ahs! That's all yo mans sayin' here right now! We got a mahfucka like Odell Beckham june-ya at wideout grabbin' every mahfuckin' ball comin' his damn way! We got Manning who supposed to be...
Keshawn Jones (cuts in) But he not livin' up to the hype! And you know this...
Vince Jones: Man, fuck you! Ya Tom Brady dick ridin' sonuvabitch!
All of a sudden Keshawn Jones motions for Vince Jones to be quiet as the whole room suddenly becomes extremely intense in the final moments of the game. Keshawn points towards the screen as the Seahawks wideout makes a ridiculous catch downfield. The whole bar goes into a nervous frenzy. Keshawn nearly jumps out of his seat.
Keshawn Jones: YOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Did you see that shit?? What the fuck was that, man? Ahhh shit!!!
"And Tom Brady had that look on his face like you've got to be kidding me! Not again!"
"You go back to Super Bowl forty-two. Tyree makes the catch..."
Vince Jones nods his head in smiles.
Vince Jones: Mahfuckin' Tyree, son!
All of a sudden Keshawn beckons for Vince to be quiet as they watch the t.v for what could be one of the final plays of the game. Everyone in the crowded bar all hold their breath as Russell Wilson lets loose a bullet to the end zone. The ball is immediately picked off by Malcolm Brown of the Pats. Vince and Keshawn all look at the t.v in shock at the misplay as the whole bar errupts in what appears to be a mix of rejoicing and groaning. Vince flips smashes his beer on the floor and nearly flips the table over as Keshawn shrugs his shoulders totally confused by what just happened.
Keshawn Jones: I mean...guess we callin' the Pats the champs, son!
Vince Jones: Fuck that shit! Marshawn Lynch in yo fuckin' backfield and you don't run that shit?? You don't fuckin' run that shit right there?? Its the fuckin' half yard mark and shit! What the fuck was the coach thinking??
Keshawn Jones: I mean it is what it is now.
Vince Jones: Nah, son!
Keshawn Jones: Its done, son! What else you want??
All of a sudden two burly men come barreling past Vince and Keshawn's table yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs, one wearing a Gronkowski jersey and the other in a Tom Brady.
The Pats Fans: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! THE PATS ARE BACK!!! THE PATS ARE BACK!!!!
The two men continue jumping up and down and hugging one another as Vince Jones rolls his eyes in disgust.
Vince Jones: Man, fuck them mahfuckin' Pats!!
The two men hear Vince's remark and the suddenly come to an immediate stand still.
Fan #1: What??
Fan #2: (to Fan #1) Don't worry about that! Probably anotha haytah like all the rest of them out there! Its alright! We just won it all! So fuck that guy!
Vince hears this and a tingle runs up and down his spine as his eyes narrow on the two Pats fans. Vince slowly rises to his feet.
Vince Jones: Whoa, whoa whoa, whoooooa! Hold the fuckin' phone here, son! Fuck who? Fuck who???
Fan # 1 turns around and steps up in the face of Vince Jones.
Fan #1: You might've been a little hard of hearing; but, I believe my pal ova here said fuck...
The man jabs Vince Jones in the chest with his finger.
Fan #1: ...you!
Vince immediately slaps the man's hand away, steps up nose to nose with him, and snarls.
Vince Jones: Do that shit again, son!
Keshawn Jones finally notices what's about to go down and he begins easing himself out of his chair as well to rise up to his feet. Fan #2 steps towards Vince and squares up.
Fan #2: Or else what, huh?? Or else what??? What you planning on doing??
All of a sudden the scene is suddenly paused and the low, gruff voice of Vince Jones is heard speaking in the background as the camera fades out into a dark room where a t.v screen shows the paused image from the bar. We now see Vince Jones himself come strolling out from behind the screen armed with his Louisville slugger bat and rather confident smirk plastered across his face.
Vince Jones: Pauly boy, you and V haven't had the chance to meet before now.
Vince stops in his tracks and begins nodding his head.
Vince Jones: (points to himself) They call yo mans here The One Man Dynasty...
He raises one finger.
Vince Jones: ....aka The Conqueror, The Killa, and The King...
Vince raises a second finger
Vince Jones: ....aka NYC's Most Rough, Rugged, and Raw...
He raises a third finger
Vince Jones: ....aka The Career Killa...
He raises a fourth finger.
Vince Jones: ....aka Mr. AKA Himself...
He raises up his thumb.
Vince Jones: ....aka The Violence....with the last one yo mans here mentioned being the only fuckin' name a simple ass small tymah like you...
He points at the camera.
Vince Jones: need to be worried about.
Vince Jones begins chuckling to himself softly.
Vince Jones: But you seem like somewhat of a smart guy and shit so you prolly already figga'd that out by now.
Vince begins pacing across the floor very slowly.
Vince Jones: But why? Why all the names, huh? Why all the names for yo mans here, Pauly boy?
Vince immediately cups his chin in thought.
Vince Jones: Hmmmm...do cats ask why God has so many fuckin' names, huh? Do cats ask why Satan got so many fuckin' names and shit? Nah, son! Why??
He stops in his tracks and immediately turns and faces the camera pointing the baseball bat in the same direction.
Vince Jones: Cuz Jonesy a big deal! He's a big fuckin' deal, son! Whetha you love the man or you hate the fuckin' man people seem to not be able to avoid talkin' about yo mans here! Its like those mahfuckin' Pats and shit! Jonesy hates them! They fuckin' cheat and shit here and there; but, V can't deny that those mahfuckas not on point when it comes down to it! They the mahfuckin' champs! They one of those greatest eva type of squads, son!
Vince Jones shakes his head in disappointment as he lowers the baseball bat to his side.
Vince Jones: Pauly boy, you run off at the mouth about these comparison between you...
Vince points a finger at the camera.
Vince Jones: ....and Jonesy here like you supposed to be acknowledged! Like you and V on the same fuckin' level and shit! Jonesy the one starin' you in the eyes? Nah son! You gonna have to correct that shit real quick cuz you and V not on the same level! Its more like you lookin' up to a man like V! You think all this time that V been in the UWA that he could've given two fucks about a guy like you?? Jonesy doin' big things! He makin' waves, sendin' tremors up and down the whole UWA universe and he neva heard of you, not once! Its like the Seahawks and the Pats! Yeah...they accomplished somethin' special once upon a time; but, the fairy tale is ova! They stepped up to the real fuckin' deal and they got brought down to Earth!
Vince Jones laughs to himself.
Vince Jones: The time was short, the time was nice; but, that time as short-lived as it felt is ova! Recognize who you fuckin' with! Don't end up like these mahfuckas when you step up to the Jones at Monday Night Mayhem, son...
Vince turns and points at the screen as the scene is unpaused and Vince and his brother Keshawn blow up and start brawling in the bar with the two Patriot fans. Vince Jones turns back around and faces the camera flashing the hand sign of the EDW.
Vince Jones: Nuff said!