Post by vincejones on Jan 23, 2015 20:58:53 GMT -6
The camera fades into the apartment of Vince Jones in the early morning hours. Vince and Jasmine can be seen sleeping soundly in bed with one another. All of a sudden Vince Jones begins stiring from his sleep and rolls over to the side of the bed pulling all the blankets off of Jasmine. Vince sits at the edge of the bed and slowly tries to muster the energy to stand up. Meanwhile Jasmine can be seen stirring on the other side of the bed slightly cold from being uncovered. Vince softly slaps himself across the face and finally begins to wake up a bit as Jasmine rolls over with her eyes firmly fixed on Vince with a cold glare.
Jasmine: V!
Vince shakes his head upon hearing her voice and slowly turns around in her direction.
Vince Jones: And what the fuck do you want, huh??
Jasmine sits up in the bed with an angry scowl across her face.
Jasmine: I mean do you really have to snatch all the blankets and sheets? I'm getting cold ova here!
Vince stands up to his feet, snatches up the bed sheets and blanket and throws it right in her face.
Vince Jones: There! You fuckin' happy now??
Jasmine pulls the blankets and sheets off her face and instantly rolls herself up in them and lays back down on the bed keeping her eyes locked on him.
Jasmine: I'm just sayin' you don't have to be such an asshole about all of that!
Vince Jones: Yeah....whateva! V gonna get a snack or somethin'! Got the damn munchies all of a sudden and shit!
Jasmine shrugs her shoulders from under the sheets.
Jasmine: Very well then. You do you. You talkin' like you're asking for permission or somethin'! I could care less what you do right now! I need my sleep!
Vince glares back at Jasmine from over his shoulder as he makes his way to the bedroom door.
Vince Jones: Ya know somethin'...ah fuck it!
Jasmine suddenly smiles sweetly at Vince.
Jasmine: Love ya, baby!
Vince pulls the door open and exits.
Vince Jones: Ah fuck you!
Vince closes the door behind him and is about to go across the hall to the bathroom when he turns and suddenly sees some light emanating from his living room area. Vince slowly opens up the door of the bedroom once again and slides back inside.
Vince Jones: (whispering) Jasmine...Jasmine!!
Jasmine slowly rolls over in bed once again immediately places the pillow over her head in frustration.
Jasmine: What??
Vince puts his finger to his lips.
Vince Jones: Shhh...sounds like we got some company tonight or somethin'!
Vince immediately strolls over to his closet, opens it up, and whips out his black Louisville slugger bat. Vince looks at the bat and begins nodding his head in approval.
Vince Jones: ( whispering) Jonesy 'bout to get in a little batting practice right about now!
Jasmine: Well, don't make too much...
Vince Jones once again puts his finger to his lips.
Vince Jones: (whispering) Shhhh.....ya fuckin' loud mouth, bitch! How the fuck yo man's gonna get the drop on this mahfucka if you makin' so much fuckin' noise in here, huh?? Now shut the fuck up and be quiet!
Jasmine rolls over in bed and glares a hole through Vince.
Jasmine: Don't you talk to me like that, V!
Vince points the baseball bat at her head.
Vince Jones: (whispering) Bitch, V'll knock you the fuck out first if you don't shut the hell up! Now stay in here and be quiet! Yo man's got this! Aiight??
Jasmine sits up in bed and leans back against the headboard with her arms folded across her chest in frustration.
Jasmine: (whispering) Well, if you gonna do it go ahead and do it then! Just like a fuckin' man to keep talkin' and shit before he makes his move...
Vince Jones stops in his tracks and points the bat at Jasmine's head again while giving her the look. He then makes his way out the bedroom and begins creeping down the hallway ever so carefully. He reaches the living room which is now softly illuminated by the glow of the t.v. He also sniffs the air and comes to notice that the air is filled with a small cloud of marijuana smoke. Vince readies himself to strike as he hears someone giggling from his favorite leather chair in the den. All of a sudden Vince Jones rushes from around the corner and is about to swing when he suddenly realizes that it was his brother, Keshawn Jones sitting in the chair. Keshawn slowly turns around giggling to himself as he drops his blunt on his brother's carpet and just shakes his head looking back at Vince with squinty eyes. Vince immediately throws the bat down on the floor in fury.
Vince Jones: Yo, what the fuck you doin' in here, K.J??
Keshawn shrugs his shoulders and just chuckles to himself.
Keshawn Jones: How the fuck am I supposed to know, man? C'mon...
Vince looks down and sees the lit blunt sitting on his floor still burning.
Vince Jones: And will pick that shit up? (Vince points down at the blunt) You fuckin' up yo man's carpet and shit here! Ya dumb ass mahfucka!
Keshawn slowly looks down at the floor, shakes his head, and chuckles to himself.
Keshawn Jones: Damn, dawg! Why you wanna fuck up a man's buzz and shit like that? Made me drop it, man!
Vince Jones: Will you pick that shit up already?? Damn!!!
Keshawn slowly leans over and picks up the still burning blunt. Meanwhile Vince Jones folds his arms across his chest and just shakes his head in disappointment with his brother who is now inspecting the blunt for any damage.
Keshawn Jones: Well, its still burning...
Keshawn brushes it off a bit and points it to the sky while Vince Jones just slaps himself in the face totally embarrassed by his brother and this little show of absolute nonsense. Keshawn stops and turns back towards his older brother, Vince.
Keshawn Jones: Yo...you gotta a problem, bruh?
Vince Jones: (nodding) Yeah! We got a fuckin' problem here! You fuckin' smoked up my living room and shit! And how you think things are gonna be when (points towards the hallway) that bitch in the back finally wakes her sorry ass up and comes trottin' her lil ass up in here, huh? Bitch gonna be talkin' about that shit for days, bruh!!
Keshawn slowly nods his head in agreement.
Keshawn Jones: Sounds pretty rough...
Vince Jones: And what the fuck you doin' here anyways? You got your own spot! Why can't you smoke up your own shit??
Keshawn Jones: Cuz Layla don't like me smokin' in the house and all, man. I tried to light up and she started bitchin' and shit...
Vince rolls his eyes at Keshawn Jones.
Vince Jones: So then you thought it'd be a great fuckin' idea to come ova here?? What? You break the fuck up in Jonesy's crib and decide its much betta come smokin' up in here?? Genius....straight fuckin' genius...
Keshawn looks at Vince and motions for him to calm down.
Keshawn Jones: Yoooo....I'm gonna need you to just R-E-L-A-X....relax, man.
All of a sudden Keshawn hands Vince his blunt. Vince takes it and just stares down at it.
Keshawn Jones: C'mon, dawg! You act like you haven't seen one of those before or somethin'...
Vince Jones: You know V hasn't smoked in awhile...
Keshawn Jones: Maybe that's why you slumpin', son! Now smoke that shit and chill! I'm watching tape studyin' up for yo fuckin' match at Mayhem.
Vince looks down at the blunt and then suddenly decides to take a drag of it. Vince begins nodding his head in approval and a slight grin begins to creep across his face. Keshawn Jones rolls up a new blunt of his own and lights it. Vince makes his way around his leather chair, looks at the sofa, and then looks back Keshawn who is sitting in his chair.
Keshawn Jones: What??
Vince Jones: You know what, son?
Vince points Keshawn in the direction of the sofa.
Keshawn slowly rises to his feet and pushes past Vince to the sofa.
Keshawn Jones: Wow! You gonna be like that when yo mans hooked you up with that gift from God and shit? That's fucked up, son!
Vince Jones: Whateva...
Vince takes another puff from the blunt and plops himself down on the sofa and looks in the direction of the t.v.
Vince Jones: So, what the fuck is up with this?
Keshawn Jones: We watchin' that game film, son...
Vince Jones stares at the t.v and notices that "The Joy of Painting" with Bob Ross is currently playing. Vince takes another drag from the blunt and stares at the t.v in confusion.
Vince Jones: Yo....what the fuck is this?
Keshawn chuckles to himself and takes another drag of his blunt and adds onto the cloud of weed smoke in the room.
Keshawn Jones: You know what they say, V. You gotta try and understand the enemy. That's what the fuck is up with this. I been workin' long and hard peelin' apart all this footage and tryin' to get down to the root of this Bob Ross mahfucka for you, V. I mean I was thinkin' when did this cat decide he was gonna start wrestling anyways?
Vince Jones takes another drag of his blunt and tries to ease himself back in his chair still a bit confused.
Vince Jones: But V could've swore...
Keshawn puts a finger to his lips signaling for Vince to be quiet.
Keshawn Jones: Shhhh...ya gotta listen to this mahfucka if you really gonna try and figga this cat out before Mayhem, son. Just listen.
The two of them become quiet as the Bob Ross footage begins to play. At this particular time we see Bob Ross painting what appears to be a secluded forrest.
Bob Ross from T.V: And we'll take a little bit of the brown. We need some dirt here around the edges....need some dirt. There we go. And as you can see we got a little bit of dirt...
Keshawn leans forward and points at the t.v.
Keshawn Jones: Hear that mahfucka talkin' about dirt and shit, man?? You betta be ready, son! That dude already sounds like he ready to fight dirty against you and shit, V!
Vince Jones: (nodding) Really?? Well, he betta roll slow cuz Jonesy might have a lil somethin' somethin' ready for his bitch ass at Mayhem if that's the case!
The two of them once go silent as the telecast continues.
Bob Ross From T.V: ....beautiful, beautiful. See, just let these things happen. Sometimes they even surprise me. I don't even know what's gonna happen here....
Keshawn suddenly pauses the clip and once again looks at Vince Jones.
Keshawn Jones: Ya hear that, son? He one of those spontaneous kamikaze ass mahfuckas, V! Bitch talkin' about he don't even know what's gonna happen sometimes.
Vince Jones takes another drag from the blunt and chuckles to himself.
Vince Jones: Yooooo....they some of the most dangerous ones in the ring sometimes, dawg!
Keshawn Jones: Damn straight...
Vince Jones turns towards the t.v screen and begins eyeing it in confusion once again.
Vince Jones: But V coulda swore he's supposed to be up against some Bob Brooks, the photographer, or some shit in the damn ring this week.
Keshawn rolls his eyes and shakes his head in disappointment with Vince.
Keshawn Jones: Bob Brooks?? C'mon, V! Don't be stupid! You gotta think outside the box and shit! They prolly got that name floatin' around and shit to confuse people. Bob Brooks prolly some alias and shit, V!
Vince takes another puff and cocks his head to the side savoring his high at the moment as he looks up at the blunt in his hand.
Vince Jones: But what if there nothin' to figga out? What if Jonesy really up against Bob Brooks and not Bob Ross? The way you talkin' Jonesy'd have to be watchin' his back when any mahfucka named Bob comes walkin' around and shit, man. What? If fuckin' Bob Barker were to show up would Jonesy have to keep his eyes peeled for that mahfucka too?
Keshawn ponders what Vince is saying for a minute and then suddenly bursts outloud with laughter.
Keshawn Jones: Man, now you talkin' crazy. Bob Ross and Bob Brooks, now there's a connection there. You re-arrange the letters in they last names and they almost identical and shit. Brooks and Ross, baby.
Vince looks at Keshawn in confusion.
Vince Jones: But Brooks has a K in it. How you explaining that, huh? Ross got two Esses in it.
Keshawn just shakes his head as he snatches up a bag of Doritos that he has nearby and begins chomping down on a handful of them straight out the bag.
Keshawn Jones: (mouthful of Doritos) The Esses cancel out. And the K?? Man, you overcomplicating shit now, son! Bob Barker don't connect to Bob Ross or Bob Brooks. Bob Barker was the host of Price is Right, son! How the hell you gonna mix all that shit togetha? Now a paintah and a photographa roll close togetha. Shit, economy not so great nowadays. Cats gotta pull that double duty, son! Now does it all make sense? Bob Ross and Bob Brooks are the same mahfucka. So you watch these Bob Ross clips and you got the edge on that bitch at Mayhem!
Vince Jones: If you say so...
The two of them continue smoking as Keshawn flips to another clip of Bob Ross in action.
Bob Ross From T.V: ...and see what happens. As you paint you'll see all kinds of things happening on your canvas and soon you'll learn how to use all these beautfiul little things that happen. I think it was on one of the earlier shows that I mentioned...hmph. We don't, we don't make mistakes, we have happy accidents...
Keshawn immediately pauses the clip yet again and looks at Vince.
Keshawn Jones: You heard that, V? You betta be on your game at Mayhem! Cuz this cat already talkin' about how he don't make mistakes and shit! You slip the fuck up and you might end up being his next happy accident, man. I'm just sayin'...
Vince Jones nods his head and tries to take in everything that is going on the very best that he can at the moment in his current subdued state of mind.
Vince Jones: Sounds like a wiley ass mahfucka we dealin' with here this week, bruh.
Vince reaches out a hand and Keshawn pours some of the Doritos in Vince's hand. Vince immediately chomps down on the handful of Doritos as Keshawn switches to another clip of Bob Ross' "Joy of Painting".
Keshawn Jones: Hmph! Yeah...you betta be ready cuz this mahfucka also down with the trees and shit too, son!
All of a sudden footsteps can be heard coming from down the hallway and the two of them go silent as Keshawn switches on some more Bob Ross clips. Suddenly Jasmine appears with an angry scowl plastered across her face.
Jasmine: What the fuck??
Keshawn and Vince immediately turn around to see Jasmine who is absolutely livid by the sight she sees of her man and his brother chilling in the living room.
Jasmine: Are you serious?? I come out here wondering if everything's alright with you V and I find you and your fuckin' brother smoking up our fuckin' living room??
Vince Jones: Yoooo...we doing some scouting and shit, girl!
Jasmine: Scouting what? Ways to truly piss me off and have me wanting to beat both of your dumbasses right now??
Keshawn looks at Jasmine and chuckles to himself.
Keshawn Jones: Yoooo...I'm gonna need ya to just R-E-L...
Jasmine charges into the living room snatches the bag of Doritos out of Keshawn's hand and slaps him across the face with it. She then throws the bag right back in Keshawn's lap and turns towards the t.v.
Jasmine: So, you mean to tell me that getting fuckin' high and watching some Bob Ross painting bullshit is gonna get my man prepared for his match this week?? Are you fuckin' kidding me??
Keshawn Jones: But he facing that mahfucka in the ring....
Jasmine rolls her eyes in displeasure with the both of them.
Jasmine: Bob Ross?? No, he's facing fuckin' Bob Brooks, you idiot! Too much damn smoking has racked both of your fuckin' brains!
Vince Jones: But Keshawn said they the same fuckin' person...
Jasmine: Wow! Really?? Really, V?? Bob Ross is fuckin' dead! He's been dead since '95! Now you two betta clean all this shit up ASAP! I'm going back to bed!
Jasmine storms out the room leaving Keshawn and Vince Jones sitting in their respective chairs staring back at one another as high as two kites at the moment.
Vince Jones: Damn, son. Told ya she was gonna go the fuck off!
Keshawn nods his head in agreement.
Keshawn Jones: Well, I don't know about you; but, my blunt still burnin' bright. We prolly got a few more hours before that bitch of yours wakes her ass back up again.
Vince Jones: True that!
Keshawn Jones: Fuck it...(singing) I gets high all the time...
The two of them pound fists and go back to smoking again as the camera slowly fades to black.
Jasmine: V!
Vince shakes his head upon hearing her voice and slowly turns around in her direction.
Vince Jones: And what the fuck do you want, huh??
Jasmine sits up in the bed with an angry scowl across her face.
Jasmine: I mean do you really have to snatch all the blankets and sheets? I'm getting cold ova here!
Vince stands up to his feet, snatches up the bed sheets and blanket and throws it right in her face.
Vince Jones: There! You fuckin' happy now??
Jasmine pulls the blankets and sheets off her face and instantly rolls herself up in them and lays back down on the bed keeping her eyes locked on him.
Jasmine: I'm just sayin' you don't have to be such an asshole about all of that!
Vince Jones: Yeah....whateva! V gonna get a snack or somethin'! Got the damn munchies all of a sudden and shit!
Jasmine shrugs her shoulders from under the sheets.
Jasmine: Very well then. You do you. You talkin' like you're asking for permission or somethin'! I could care less what you do right now! I need my sleep!
Vince glares back at Jasmine from over his shoulder as he makes his way to the bedroom door.
Vince Jones: Ya know somethin'...ah fuck it!
Jasmine suddenly smiles sweetly at Vince.
Jasmine: Love ya, baby!
Vince pulls the door open and exits.
Vince Jones: Ah fuck you!
Vince closes the door behind him and is about to go across the hall to the bathroom when he turns and suddenly sees some light emanating from his living room area. Vince slowly opens up the door of the bedroom once again and slides back inside.
Vince Jones: (whispering) Jasmine...Jasmine!!
Jasmine slowly rolls over in bed once again immediately places the pillow over her head in frustration.
Jasmine: What??
Vince puts his finger to his lips.
Vince Jones: Shhh...sounds like we got some company tonight or somethin'!
Vince immediately strolls over to his closet, opens it up, and whips out his black Louisville slugger bat. Vince looks at the bat and begins nodding his head in approval.
Vince Jones: ( whispering) Jonesy 'bout to get in a little batting practice right about now!
Jasmine: Well, don't make too much...
Vince Jones once again puts his finger to his lips.
Vince Jones: (whispering) Shhhh.....ya fuckin' loud mouth, bitch! How the fuck yo man's gonna get the drop on this mahfucka if you makin' so much fuckin' noise in here, huh?? Now shut the fuck up and be quiet!
Jasmine rolls over in bed and glares a hole through Vince.
Jasmine: Don't you talk to me like that, V!
Vince points the baseball bat at her head.
Vince Jones: (whispering) Bitch, V'll knock you the fuck out first if you don't shut the hell up! Now stay in here and be quiet! Yo man's got this! Aiight??
Jasmine sits up in bed and leans back against the headboard with her arms folded across her chest in frustration.
Jasmine: (whispering) Well, if you gonna do it go ahead and do it then! Just like a fuckin' man to keep talkin' and shit before he makes his move...
Vince Jones stops in his tracks and points the bat at Jasmine's head again while giving her the look. He then makes his way out the bedroom and begins creeping down the hallway ever so carefully. He reaches the living room which is now softly illuminated by the glow of the t.v. He also sniffs the air and comes to notice that the air is filled with a small cloud of marijuana smoke. Vince readies himself to strike as he hears someone giggling from his favorite leather chair in the den. All of a sudden Vince Jones rushes from around the corner and is about to swing when he suddenly realizes that it was his brother, Keshawn Jones sitting in the chair. Keshawn slowly turns around giggling to himself as he drops his blunt on his brother's carpet and just shakes his head looking back at Vince with squinty eyes. Vince immediately throws the bat down on the floor in fury.
Vince Jones: Yo, what the fuck you doin' in here, K.J??
Keshawn shrugs his shoulders and just chuckles to himself.
Keshawn Jones: How the fuck am I supposed to know, man? C'mon...
Vince looks down and sees the lit blunt sitting on his floor still burning.
Vince Jones: And will pick that shit up? (Vince points down at the blunt) You fuckin' up yo man's carpet and shit here! Ya dumb ass mahfucka!
Keshawn slowly looks down at the floor, shakes his head, and chuckles to himself.
Keshawn Jones: Damn, dawg! Why you wanna fuck up a man's buzz and shit like that? Made me drop it, man!
Vince Jones: Will you pick that shit up already?? Damn!!!
Keshawn slowly leans over and picks up the still burning blunt. Meanwhile Vince Jones folds his arms across his chest and just shakes his head in disappointment with his brother who is now inspecting the blunt for any damage.
Keshawn Jones: Well, its still burning...
Keshawn brushes it off a bit and points it to the sky while Vince Jones just slaps himself in the face totally embarrassed by his brother and this little show of absolute nonsense. Keshawn stops and turns back towards his older brother, Vince.
Keshawn Jones: Yo...you gotta a problem, bruh?
Vince Jones: (nodding) Yeah! We got a fuckin' problem here! You fuckin' smoked up my living room and shit! And how you think things are gonna be when (points towards the hallway) that bitch in the back finally wakes her sorry ass up and comes trottin' her lil ass up in here, huh? Bitch gonna be talkin' about that shit for days, bruh!!
Keshawn slowly nods his head in agreement.
Keshawn Jones: Sounds pretty rough...
Vince Jones: And what the fuck you doin' here anyways? You got your own spot! Why can't you smoke up your own shit??
Keshawn Jones: Cuz Layla don't like me smokin' in the house and all, man. I tried to light up and she started bitchin' and shit...
Vince rolls his eyes at Keshawn Jones.
Vince Jones: So then you thought it'd be a great fuckin' idea to come ova here?? What? You break the fuck up in Jonesy's crib and decide its much betta come smokin' up in here?? Genius....straight fuckin' genius...
Keshawn looks at Vince and motions for him to calm down.
Keshawn Jones: Yoooo....I'm gonna need you to just R-E-L-A-X....relax, man.
All of a sudden Keshawn hands Vince his blunt. Vince takes it and just stares down at it.
Keshawn Jones: C'mon, dawg! You act like you haven't seen one of those before or somethin'...
Vince Jones: You know V hasn't smoked in awhile...
Keshawn Jones: Maybe that's why you slumpin', son! Now smoke that shit and chill! I'm watching tape studyin' up for yo fuckin' match at Mayhem.
Vince looks down at the blunt and then suddenly decides to take a drag of it. Vince begins nodding his head in approval and a slight grin begins to creep across his face. Keshawn Jones rolls up a new blunt of his own and lights it. Vince makes his way around his leather chair, looks at the sofa, and then looks back Keshawn who is sitting in his chair.
Keshawn Jones: What??
Vince Jones: You know what, son?
Vince points Keshawn in the direction of the sofa.
Keshawn slowly rises to his feet and pushes past Vince to the sofa.
Keshawn Jones: Wow! You gonna be like that when yo mans hooked you up with that gift from God and shit? That's fucked up, son!
Vince Jones: Whateva...
Vince takes another puff from the blunt and plops himself down on the sofa and looks in the direction of the t.v.
Vince Jones: So, what the fuck is up with this?
Keshawn Jones: We watchin' that game film, son...
Vince Jones stares at the t.v and notices that "The Joy of Painting" with Bob Ross is currently playing. Vince takes another drag from the blunt and stares at the t.v in confusion.
Vince Jones: Yo....what the fuck is this?
Keshawn chuckles to himself and takes another drag of his blunt and adds onto the cloud of weed smoke in the room.
Keshawn Jones: You know what they say, V. You gotta try and understand the enemy. That's what the fuck is up with this. I been workin' long and hard peelin' apart all this footage and tryin' to get down to the root of this Bob Ross mahfucka for you, V. I mean I was thinkin' when did this cat decide he was gonna start wrestling anyways?
Vince Jones takes another drag of his blunt and tries to ease himself back in his chair still a bit confused.
Vince Jones: But V could've swore...
Keshawn puts a finger to his lips signaling for Vince to be quiet.
Keshawn Jones: Shhhh...ya gotta listen to this mahfucka if you really gonna try and figga this cat out before Mayhem, son. Just listen.
The two of them become quiet as the Bob Ross footage begins to play. At this particular time we see Bob Ross painting what appears to be a secluded forrest.
Bob Ross from T.V: And we'll take a little bit of the brown. We need some dirt here around the edges....need some dirt. There we go. And as you can see we got a little bit of dirt...
Keshawn leans forward and points at the t.v.
Keshawn Jones: Hear that mahfucka talkin' about dirt and shit, man?? You betta be ready, son! That dude already sounds like he ready to fight dirty against you and shit, V!
Vince Jones: (nodding) Really?? Well, he betta roll slow cuz Jonesy might have a lil somethin' somethin' ready for his bitch ass at Mayhem if that's the case!
The two of them once go silent as the telecast continues.
Bob Ross From T.V: ....beautiful, beautiful. See, just let these things happen. Sometimes they even surprise me. I don't even know what's gonna happen here....
Keshawn suddenly pauses the clip and once again looks at Vince Jones.
Keshawn Jones: Ya hear that, son? He one of those spontaneous kamikaze ass mahfuckas, V! Bitch talkin' about he don't even know what's gonna happen sometimes.
Vince Jones takes another drag from the blunt and chuckles to himself.
Vince Jones: Yooooo....they some of the most dangerous ones in the ring sometimes, dawg!
Keshawn Jones: Damn straight...
Vince Jones turns towards the t.v screen and begins eyeing it in confusion once again.
Vince Jones: But V coulda swore he's supposed to be up against some Bob Brooks, the photographer, or some shit in the damn ring this week.
Keshawn rolls his eyes and shakes his head in disappointment with Vince.
Keshawn Jones: Bob Brooks?? C'mon, V! Don't be stupid! You gotta think outside the box and shit! They prolly got that name floatin' around and shit to confuse people. Bob Brooks prolly some alias and shit, V!
Vince takes another puff and cocks his head to the side savoring his high at the moment as he looks up at the blunt in his hand.
Vince Jones: But what if there nothin' to figga out? What if Jonesy really up against Bob Brooks and not Bob Ross? The way you talkin' Jonesy'd have to be watchin' his back when any mahfucka named Bob comes walkin' around and shit, man. What? If fuckin' Bob Barker were to show up would Jonesy have to keep his eyes peeled for that mahfucka too?
Keshawn ponders what Vince is saying for a minute and then suddenly bursts outloud with laughter.
Keshawn Jones: Man, now you talkin' crazy. Bob Ross and Bob Brooks, now there's a connection there. You re-arrange the letters in they last names and they almost identical and shit. Brooks and Ross, baby.
Vince looks at Keshawn in confusion.
Vince Jones: But Brooks has a K in it. How you explaining that, huh? Ross got two Esses in it.
Keshawn just shakes his head as he snatches up a bag of Doritos that he has nearby and begins chomping down on a handful of them straight out the bag.
Keshawn Jones: (mouthful of Doritos) The Esses cancel out. And the K?? Man, you overcomplicating shit now, son! Bob Barker don't connect to Bob Ross or Bob Brooks. Bob Barker was the host of Price is Right, son! How the hell you gonna mix all that shit togetha? Now a paintah and a photographa roll close togetha. Shit, economy not so great nowadays. Cats gotta pull that double duty, son! Now does it all make sense? Bob Ross and Bob Brooks are the same mahfucka. So you watch these Bob Ross clips and you got the edge on that bitch at Mayhem!
Vince Jones: If you say so...
The two of them continue smoking as Keshawn flips to another clip of Bob Ross in action.
Bob Ross From T.V: ...and see what happens. As you paint you'll see all kinds of things happening on your canvas and soon you'll learn how to use all these beautfiul little things that happen. I think it was on one of the earlier shows that I mentioned...hmph. We don't, we don't make mistakes, we have happy accidents...
Keshawn immediately pauses the clip yet again and looks at Vince.
Keshawn Jones: You heard that, V? You betta be on your game at Mayhem! Cuz this cat already talkin' about how he don't make mistakes and shit! You slip the fuck up and you might end up being his next happy accident, man. I'm just sayin'...
Vince Jones nods his head and tries to take in everything that is going on the very best that he can at the moment in his current subdued state of mind.
Vince Jones: Sounds like a wiley ass mahfucka we dealin' with here this week, bruh.
Vince reaches out a hand and Keshawn pours some of the Doritos in Vince's hand. Vince immediately chomps down on the handful of Doritos as Keshawn switches to another clip of Bob Ross' "Joy of Painting".
Keshawn Jones: Hmph! Yeah...you betta be ready cuz this mahfucka also down with the trees and shit too, son!
All of a sudden footsteps can be heard coming from down the hallway and the two of them go silent as Keshawn switches on some more Bob Ross clips. Suddenly Jasmine appears with an angry scowl plastered across her face.
Jasmine: What the fuck??
Keshawn and Vince immediately turn around to see Jasmine who is absolutely livid by the sight she sees of her man and his brother chilling in the living room.
Jasmine: Are you serious?? I come out here wondering if everything's alright with you V and I find you and your fuckin' brother smoking up our fuckin' living room??
Vince Jones: Yoooo...we doing some scouting and shit, girl!
Jasmine: Scouting what? Ways to truly piss me off and have me wanting to beat both of your dumbasses right now??
Keshawn looks at Jasmine and chuckles to himself.
Keshawn Jones: Yoooo...I'm gonna need ya to just R-E-L...
Jasmine charges into the living room snatches the bag of Doritos out of Keshawn's hand and slaps him across the face with it. She then throws the bag right back in Keshawn's lap and turns towards the t.v.
Jasmine: So, you mean to tell me that getting fuckin' high and watching some Bob Ross painting bullshit is gonna get my man prepared for his match this week?? Are you fuckin' kidding me??
Keshawn Jones: But he facing that mahfucka in the ring....
Jasmine rolls her eyes in displeasure with the both of them.
Jasmine: Bob Ross?? No, he's facing fuckin' Bob Brooks, you idiot! Too much damn smoking has racked both of your fuckin' brains!
Vince Jones: But Keshawn said they the same fuckin' person...
Jasmine: Wow! Really?? Really, V?? Bob Ross is fuckin' dead! He's been dead since '95! Now you two betta clean all this shit up ASAP! I'm going back to bed!
Jasmine storms out the room leaving Keshawn and Vince Jones sitting in their respective chairs staring back at one another as high as two kites at the moment.
Vince Jones: Damn, son. Told ya she was gonna go the fuck off!
Keshawn nods his head in agreement.
Keshawn Jones: Well, I don't know about you; but, my blunt still burnin' bright. We prolly got a few more hours before that bitch of yours wakes her ass back up again.
Vince Jones: True that!
Keshawn Jones: Fuck it...(singing) I gets high all the time...
The two of them pound fists and go back to smoking again as the camera slowly fades to black.