Post by tedman on Jan 16, 2015 11:19:04 GMT -6
Tommy is rarely seen without his beloved Tedman suit on, but this is one of those rare occasions. He is seen entering a Quaker Steak and Lube restaurant in Westminster Colorado. He is quickly greeted by the lovely young hostess.
“Welcome. How many?”
Tommy looks around a bit confused then turns his attention back towards the hostess with the mostest with a big grin on his face.
“Just me miss.”
She sends a little smirk back and grabs one menu. She begins to lead his towards the table as some small talk happens in the process.
“Ever been here before sir?”
Tommy isn’t paying attention as he is staring at the lady’s juicy booty bouncing as she walks.
“Sir?”
She turns around and catches Tommy staring. He sees her looking out of the corner of his eye and quickly brings his eyes back up.
“What was that?”
The lady laughs quite a bit and asks the question again.
“Have you ever been here before?”
“Can’t say I have, but I can tell already I’ll be returning to this establishment quite often.”
They finally reach the table where Tommy will be sitting. The hostess places the menu on the table.
“Well enjoy your visit. Your waitress will be with you shortly.”
“Oh, I’ll enjoy it very much!”
Tommy begins to stare at that full booty bounce as she walks away.
“I’d like a piece of that meat!”
Just as he says that his waitress walks over and doesn’t see him looking at the menu.
“Hi, I’m Melissa and I’ll be your waitress tonight. And what meat would that be sir? Didn’t see you looking at your menu?”
Tommy seems shocked thinking he has been caught and quickly opens the menu, burying his eyes in it. One thing sticks out and he justs orders that.
“Triple Atomic Wings. That meat.”
The waitress laughs a bit.
“Well sir I must inform you that the triple atomic wings require a waiver form to be signed.”
Tommy stops looking at the menu and looks up at the waitress with a blank look on his face.
“A waiver? What the hell is wrong with them that I need to sign a god damn waiver?”
“Well those wings are rated at a level of five hundred thousand on the scovill meter. The hottest wings in this restaurant. You sure you want them?”
Tommy thinks for a few moments and nods.
“Yeah. I’ll take them. Sure I can handle a little heat.”
“Ok. Would you like anything to drink?”
Tommy picks the menu back up and flips to the back page which shows what they have to offer drinkwise. He sees they have a hundred ounce beer tower and smiles really big.
“I’ll take the tower of beer.”
“And what kind of beer would you like?”
“Got Sam Adams Winter Ale?”
“That we do sir.”
“Well then, I’ll take a tower of that.”
“Not a problem. I’ll go put your order in and be right back with your tower of beer.”
“Thanks Ma’am”
The waitress walks away and Tommy sighs a sigh of relief.
“Man I thought she caught me checking out the hostess. In reality, I don’t care. That girl had a perfect bouncy booty I would dive face first into!”
Tommy watches the tv a few feet away from him for a few minutes. Shortly after the waitress returns with the monster tower of beer and one glass on a cart. She places them on the table right off to the side of Tommy.
“Here you go sir. Your wings should be out in a few minutes.”
"Sounds good to me."
“Would you like a glass of milk to go with the wings? It will help cool the burn.”
“Burn?”
Tommy looks up at the waitress again as he fills his glass with beer.”
“I take beatings with my profession. Sure a little heat can’t hurt me as much as some of the guys I fight do.”
“You box?”
“Nah. I wrestle. Got a show coming up soon here in this lovely state.”
“You wrestle for UWA?”
“That I do.”
“I was at their last show. Sorry but don’t recognize you.”
Tommy laughs as many people do not recognize him outside of his furry suit.
“It happens. I usually hide behind a costume if that helps at all.”
“TEDDY?”
“The one and only.”
“MAN, you are awesome. Always making people laugh profusely. How do you function half the time?”
“I’m still trying to figure that one out, but I manage.”
“You think they will ever take you seriously?”
“Only time will tell. Seems like it this show.”
“Really now? I mean since you been here it seems like they’ve been keeping you up against curtain jerkers and new faces.”
“I agree, but i need to put in work to earn the good matches. They finally gave me one I guess. I am going to be facing Kyle Travis. The loudest and most obnoxious dimwit UWA has to offer.”
“Well give ‘em hell sir. Anyways, I’ll be right back with your wings.”
“Sounds good.”
Tommy sips on his beer and watches highlights from the recent national title football game as he waits for these proclaimed wings from hell. Moments later the waitress returns, She carefully places the wings in front of Tommy.
“Enjoy. You sure you do not want a glass of milk?”
Tommy chuckles as she asked about the milk a second time.
“Like I said. Sure I have received beatings worse than these wings. I’ll be fine.”
“If you say so. I’ll be around if you change your mind.”
“Thanks. I’m sure I’ll be fine miss.”
Tommy takes a sip of his beer before picking up one of the wings.
“How bad could they be?’’
He digs in and quickly devours one of the wings. He licks his fingers and places the bare bone on the extra plate beside the wings.
“And she said these were the worst. They taste mild to me.”
He picks up a second and again quickly eats it down. A third the same way. The heat begins to kick in and Tommy feels it slightley.
“There you go! Only took three of them to feel the heat.”
More heat comes on. Very intensely for that matter. Tommy takes a few sips of the beer thinking it will cool it off. For a few moments it does as he is able to eat a fourth wing. By now the heat from the hot wings is so bad Tommy begins to have sweat form on his forehead.
“Geez maybe she was right. These fuckers are getting hot.”
He chugs down the rest of his beer and quickly fills it back up. As fast as he filled it he also drinks it down. Another fill and another glass down. The tower begins to empty quite fast. The waitress comes over to see how everything is going. She sees Tommy sweating and phanting from the heat of the wings.
“How about that glass of milk?
Tommy shakes his head yes. Instead of pouring another glass of beer from the tower he just opens the top of it. Picks it up and begins to chug right from the tower itself.
“Ok then. I’ll be right back.”
Tommy nods as he chugs the beer while some of it drips out the side of his mouth.
“What the hell is wrong with this place. These things are too much, but i need to finish them. I won’t let these wings defeat me. Just like I won’t let Kyle Travis beat me. If I can handle these I can handle him with no problem.”
Tommy regretfully picks up the fifth wing and eats it as quick as possible. The heat intensifies as the waitress comes back with the tall glass of milk. He doesn’t give he a chance to put it down. He takes it right from her hands and emptys the glass in seconds.
“Thirsty much sir?”
“Anything to cool the heat. Got one left and I am going to finish it. Just like I plan on finishing Mr. Travis come Mayhem. Mind bringing one more glass? I feel like I am going to need it with one wing left.”
The waitress laughs and nods.
“No problem sir. You can do it. Just think. You eat that last wing and you get your picture on our wall of fame. Only a couple dozen have completed it since we opened this location. Something to be proud of.”
Tommy nods and picks up the finale wing.
“Hurry please. Don’t mean to rush you but the quicker I get done the quicker the pain goes away. Than I can focus on my real task at hand.”
“Mr. Travis?”
“Exactly. If I can handle this pain, there is nothing he throws at me I can’t handle. Even listening to him rant on for hours. I mean it could be torturous as shit but nothing we all haven’t been through before. Never fought the man personally, but nothing to be scared of. The worst part is his mouth.”
“Wasn’t he UWA’s first North American champ?”
“So? Didn’t last long. He fizzled out fast and has never recovered.”
“Guess your right. Be right back with that glass of milk for you Tommy.”
“Thanks.”
Tommy turns his attention towards the last wing and digs in. The waitress is back fast and just in the nick of time. Tommy places the empty bone down and heads right for the milk. He drinks it down before the waitress can even speak. She looks as he has a milk mustaches and laughs a bit.
“What’s so funny? I finished the wings.”
“Not that Tommy. Not the pain you went through either. We’ve seen Marines come in here and shed a tear from the heat. You got yourself a nice milk mustache. Might want to wipe it away.”
They both laugh as his grabs a napkin and does just that.
“Holy fuck that was bad. Should have listened to you from the start.”
“Maybe, but you did it. So relax. No more pain to come your way. Unless Kyle thinks he can do harm to you.”
“I ain’t too worried about him.”
“Good. No reason to be afraid of that loud mouth. Anyways. Will that be all for tonight?”
“Yeah. No more of them suckers for me. You can bring the check.”
“Ok. I’ll be right back with that. And a camera to take your picture.”
“Sounds good to me.”
A minute later she returns. She places the check in front of Tommy. He opens it open and looks it over. He places a fifty dollar bill in there for the twenty dollar check.
“All yours.”
She opens it up and smiles.
“Thanks Tommy! Now I just need you to stand up and hold this sign.”
She hands him the sign that reads “I have defeated the Triple Atomic Wings.” Tommy holds it in front of his chest as the waitress takes his picture.
“There you go. Come back in a couple days. You can see the picture on the wall if you would like.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
The waitress walks away as Tommy does too. He is walking by the hostess with the velumpcious booty and gives her a nice smack on the cheek and smiles as he walks out.
“Tedman out!”
The scene fades out the hostess looks at Tommy and just smiles from ear to ear.
“Welcome. How many?”
Tommy looks around a bit confused then turns his attention back towards the hostess with the mostest with a big grin on his face.
“Just me miss.”
She sends a little smirk back and grabs one menu. She begins to lead his towards the table as some small talk happens in the process.
“Ever been here before sir?”
Tommy isn’t paying attention as he is staring at the lady’s juicy booty bouncing as she walks.
“Sir?”
She turns around and catches Tommy staring. He sees her looking out of the corner of his eye and quickly brings his eyes back up.
“What was that?”
The lady laughs quite a bit and asks the question again.
“Have you ever been here before?”
“Can’t say I have, but I can tell already I’ll be returning to this establishment quite often.”
They finally reach the table where Tommy will be sitting. The hostess places the menu on the table.
“Well enjoy your visit. Your waitress will be with you shortly.”
“Oh, I’ll enjoy it very much!”
Tommy begins to stare at that full booty bounce as she walks away.
“I’d like a piece of that meat!”
Just as he says that his waitress walks over and doesn’t see him looking at the menu.
“Hi, I’m Melissa and I’ll be your waitress tonight. And what meat would that be sir? Didn’t see you looking at your menu?”
Tommy seems shocked thinking he has been caught and quickly opens the menu, burying his eyes in it. One thing sticks out and he justs orders that.
“Triple Atomic Wings. That meat.”
The waitress laughs a bit.
“Well sir I must inform you that the triple atomic wings require a waiver form to be signed.”
Tommy stops looking at the menu and looks up at the waitress with a blank look on his face.
“A waiver? What the hell is wrong with them that I need to sign a god damn waiver?”
“Well those wings are rated at a level of five hundred thousand on the scovill meter. The hottest wings in this restaurant. You sure you want them?”
Tommy thinks for a few moments and nods.
“Yeah. I’ll take them. Sure I can handle a little heat.”
“Ok. Would you like anything to drink?”
Tommy picks the menu back up and flips to the back page which shows what they have to offer drinkwise. He sees they have a hundred ounce beer tower and smiles really big.
“I’ll take the tower of beer.”
“And what kind of beer would you like?”
“Got Sam Adams Winter Ale?”
“That we do sir.”
“Well then, I’ll take a tower of that.”
“Not a problem. I’ll go put your order in and be right back with your tower of beer.”
“Thanks Ma’am”
The waitress walks away and Tommy sighs a sigh of relief.
“Man I thought she caught me checking out the hostess. In reality, I don’t care. That girl had a perfect bouncy booty I would dive face first into!”
Tommy watches the tv a few feet away from him for a few minutes. Shortly after the waitress returns with the monster tower of beer and one glass on a cart. She places them on the table right off to the side of Tommy.
“Here you go sir. Your wings should be out in a few minutes.”
"Sounds good to me."
“Would you like a glass of milk to go with the wings? It will help cool the burn.”
“Burn?”
Tommy looks up at the waitress again as he fills his glass with beer.”
“I take beatings with my profession. Sure a little heat can’t hurt me as much as some of the guys I fight do.”
“You box?”
“Nah. I wrestle. Got a show coming up soon here in this lovely state.”
“You wrestle for UWA?”
“That I do.”
“I was at their last show. Sorry but don’t recognize you.”
Tommy laughs as many people do not recognize him outside of his furry suit.
“It happens. I usually hide behind a costume if that helps at all.”
“TEDDY?”
“The one and only.”
“MAN, you are awesome. Always making people laugh profusely. How do you function half the time?”
“I’m still trying to figure that one out, but I manage.”
“You think they will ever take you seriously?”
“Only time will tell. Seems like it this show.”
“Really now? I mean since you been here it seems like they’ve been keeping you up against curtain jerkers and new faces.”
“I agree, but i need to put in work to earn the good matches. They finally gave me one I guess. I am going to be facing Kyle Travis. The loudest and most obnoxious dimwit UWA has to offer.”
“Well give ‘em hell sir. Anyways, I’ll be right back with your wings.”
“Sounds good.”
Tommy sips on his beer and watches highlights from the recent national title football game as he waits for these proclaimed wings from hell. Moments later the waitress returns, She carefully places the wings in front of Tommy.
“Enjoy. You sure you do not want a glass of milk?”
Tommy chuckles as she asked about the milk a second time.
“Like I said. Sure I have received beatings worse than these wings. I’ll be fine.”
“If you say so. I’ll be around if you change your mind.”
“Thanks. I’m sure I’ll be fine miss.”
Tommy takes a sip of his beer before picking up one of the wings.
“How bad could they be?’’
He digs in and quickly devours one of the wings. He licks his fingers and places the bare bone on the extra plate beside the wings.
“And she said these were the worst. They taste mild to me.”
He picks up a second and again quickly eats it down. A third the same way. The heat begins to kick in and Tommy feels it slightley.
“There you go! Only took three of them to feel the heat.”
More heat comes on. Very intensely for that matter. Tommy takes a few sips of the beer thinking it will cool it off. For a few moments it does as he is able to eat a fourth wing. By now the heat from the hot wings is so bad Tommy begins to have sweat form on his forehead.
“Geez maybe she was right. These fuckers are getting hot.”
He chugs down the rest of his beer and quickly fills it back up. As fast as he filled it he also drinks it down. Another fill and another glass down. The tower begins to empty quite fast. The waitress comes over to see how everything is going. She sees Tommy sweating and phanting from the heat of the wings.
“How about that glass of milk?
Tommy shakes his head yes. Instead of pouring another glass of beer from the tower he just opens the top of it. Picks it up and begins to chug right from the tower itself.
“Ok then. I’ll be right back.”
Tommy nods as he chugs the beer while some of it drips out the side of his mouth.
“What the hell is wrong with this place. These things are too much, but i need to finish them. I won’t let these wings defeat me. Just like I won’t let Kyle Travis beat me. If I can handle these I can handle him with no problem.”
Tommy regretfully picks up the fifth wing and eats it as quick as possible. The heat intensifies as the waitress comes back with the tall glass of milk. He doesn’t give he a chance to put it down. He takes it right from her hands and emptys the glass in seconds.
“Thirsty much sir?”
“Anything to cool the heat. Got one left and I am going to finish it. Just like I plan on finishing Mr. Travis come Mayhem. Mind bringing one more glass? I feel like I am going to need it with one wing left.”
The waitress laughs and nods.
“No problem sir. You can do it. Just think. You eat that last wing and you get your picture on our wall of fame. Only a couple dozen have completed it since we opened this location. Something to be proud of.”
Tommy nods and picks up the finale wing.
“Hurry please. Don’t mean to rush you but the quicker I get done the quicker the pain goes away. Than I can focus on my real task at hand.”
“Mr. Travis?”
“Exactly. If I can handle this pain, there is nothing he throws at me I can’t handle. Even listening to him rant on for hours. I mean it could be torturous as shit but nothing we all haven’t been through before. Never fought the man personally, but nothing to be scared of. The worst part is his mouth.”
“Wasn’t he UWA’s first North American champ?”
“So? Didn’t last long. He fizzled out fast and has never recovered.”
“Guess your right. Be right back with that glass of milk for you Tommy.”
“Thanks.”
Tommy turns his attention towards the last wing and digs in. The waitress is back fast and just in the nick of time. Tommy places the empty bone down and heads right for the milk. He drinks it down before the waitress can even speak. She looks as he has a milk mustaches and laughs a bit.
“What’s so funny? I finished the wings.”
“Not that Tommy. Not the pain you went through either. We’ve seen Marines come in here and shed a tear from the heat. You got yourself a nice milk mustache. Might want to wipe it away.”
They both laugh as his grabs a napkin and does just that.
“Holy fuck that was bad. Should have listened to you from the start.”
“Maybe, but you did it. So relax. No more pain to come your way. Unless Kyle thinks he can do harm to you.”
“I ain’t too worried about him.”
“Good. No reason to be afraid of that loud mouth. Anyways. Will that be all for tonight?”
“Yeah. No more of them suckers for me. You can bring the check.”
“Ok. I’ll be right back with that. And a camera to take your picture.”
“Sounds good to me.”
A minute later she returns. She places the check in front of Tommy. He opens it open and looks it over. He places a fifty dollar bill in there for the twenty dollar check.
“All yours.”
She opens it up and smiles.
“Thanks Tommy! Now I just need you to stand up and hold this sign.”
She hands him the sign that reads “I have defeated the Triple Atomic Wings.” Tommy holds it in front of his chest as the waitress takes his picture.
“There you go. Come back in a couple days. You can see the picture on the wall if you would like.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
The waitress walks away as Tommy does too. He is walking by the hostess with the velumpcious booty and gives her a nice smack on the cheek and smiles as he walks out.
“Tedman out!”
The scene fades out the hostess looks at Tommy and just smiles from ear to ear.
______________________________________________________________________________
Tommy is now seen in a locker room at a local gym. He sits there getting into his famous Tedman suit.
“Holy fuck dude. Those wings were killer. Bet they did more harm to me than you will be able to Mr. Travis. I’ll put my suit on it.”
Tommy chuckle at the thought of what Kyle might come back at him with.
“I’ve seen your matches. I know you were the first North American Champion around these parts, but after you lost the title what have you really done since? Make little splashes here and there? The biggest noise you have made in UWA is with your mouth. You ramble on for hours and hours and it does not seem to be doing anything for you. I mean I guess if someone was forced to listen to you talk for so long it might kill them or make them quit, but that is the only way you are going to beat anyone now a days.”
Tommy grabs the head of the Tedman suit off the ground and places it on the bench beside him.
“You talked trash on how Craven was unable to defeat you at Catclysm, but if I recall in my acid trip around that time, you were unable to defeat him as well. That match ended in a no contest. So what are you so proud of?”
He now reaches in his bag and pulls out a piece of aluminum foil and begins to open it as he continues to speak.
“What makes you think things will be different this time around? What makes you think you can actually defeat him? Only way I see that happening is by talking his god damn ear off and giving him endless history lessons that we have all heard before. The reason why you earned your nickname or the countless title you have held. We know. And frankly we don’t give a shit. You won gold here and lost it. Done nothing significant since.”
Tommy pulls out a small tab of paper and places it on his tongue and rants on.
“Now you can say I have done nothing of significance either, and you may be right. But to my knowledge i believe my record here is two wins to one loss. Nothing to brag about but at least im on the upside. Sure my wins were against newbies, but you have to start somewhere right? Now they finally gave me someone couple strps higher. Not many but you are a few steps higher. I give you that much. I guess I have to since you did have gold around your waist at one point, but that’s the only reason.”
He now folds the foil back up and places it and the contents back in his bag.
“I know you are going to come out here and give us countless reasons to why you are going to rip me to shreads and make an example out of me. You can try your best pal. Between all the drugs I have done and those damn wings I just ate not too long ago. I highly doubt I will feel anything you hit me with. Weather it be your fists, your feet, or a damn weapon if you so please.”
Tommy now picks up the Ted head and places it on.
“Guess you can smack talk all you want. Hit me with whatever you want. You will soon find out I feel no pain. Never have. And with that wonderful tab of acid I just took. I won’t feel anything you got either you little prissy bitch.”
Tommy stands up and begins to chuckle.
“Time to get to where I need to before I begin to trip balls.”
He opens the door to the locker room and stops for another moment.
“Come at me bro! Tedman out!”
The scene fades as Tommy runs out of the locker room and takes off like a bat out of hell.
“Holy fuck dude. Those wings were killer. Bet they did more harm to me than you will be able to Mr. Travis. I’ll put my suit on it.”
Tommy chuckle at the thought of what Kyle might come back at him with.
“I’ve seen your matches. I know you were the first North American Champion around these parts, but after you lost the title what have you really done since? Make little splashes here and there? The biggest noise you have made in UWA is with your mouth. You ramble on for hours and hours and it does not seem to be doing anything for you. I mean I guess if someone was forced to listen to you talk for so long it might kill them or make them quit, but that is the only way you are going to beat anyone now a days.”
Tommy grabs the head of the Tedman suit off the ground and places it on the bench beside him.
“You talked trash on how Craven was unable to defeat you at Catclysm, but if I recall in my acid trip around that time, you were unable to defeat him as well. That match ended in a no contest. So what are you so proud of?”
He now reaches in his bag and pulls out a piece of aluminum foil and begins to open it as he continues to speak.
“What makes you think things will be different this time around? What makes you think you can actually defeat him? Only way I see that happening is by talking his god damn ear off and giving him endless history lessons that we have all heard before. The reason why you earned your nickname or the countless title you have held. We know. And frankly we don’t give a shit. You won gold here and lost it. Done nothing significant since.”
Tommy pulls out a small tab of paper and places it on his tongue and rants on.
“Now you can say I have done nothing of significance either, and you may be right. But to my knowledge i believe my record here is two wins to one loss. Nothing to brag about but at least im on the upside. Sure my wins were against newbies, but you have to start somewhere right? Now they finally gave me someone couple strps higher. Not many but you are a few steps higher. I give you that much. I guess I have to since you did have gold around your waist at one point, but that’s the only reason.”
He now folds the foil back up and places it and the contents back in his bag.
“I know you are going to come out here and give us countless reasons to why you are going to rip me to shreads and make an example out of me. You can try your best pal. Between all the drugs I have done and those damn wings I just ate not too long ago. I highly doubt I will feel anything you hit me with. Weather it be your fists, your feet, or a damn weapon if you so please.”
Tommy now picks up the Ted head and places it on.
“Guess you can smack talk all you want. Hit me with whatever you want. You will soon find out I feel no pain. Never have. And with that wonderful tab of acid I just took. I won’t feel anything you got either you little prissy bitch.”
Tommy stands up and begins to chuckle.
“Time to get to where I need to before I begin to trip balls.”
He opens the door to the locker room and stops for another moment.
“Come at me bro! Tedman out!”
The scene fades as Tommy runs out of the locker room and takes off like a bat out of hell.
