Post by Cornbread Mafia on Feb 19, 2014 18:56:16 GMT -6
As the camera moves in on the small double wide trailer sitting in a field at the end of a dirt road seemingly in the middle of nowhere in South Carolina just next to a forest of mixed oak, birch and whatever other trees happened to collect here over the years. The white trailer, well, it used to be white, not it's more dirt grey, sits against dormant, dead-looking grass with two mostly stripped red 1970's pick-up truck bodies with the wheels, hoods and bumpers missing just off to the left of the “driveway.” The camera scans around to find three fully equipped black Ford pick-up trucks parked just behind the stripped ones with a blue camping tent just inside the porch. As the camera moves forward, the tent pops open to find an angry young man in a cowboy hat, blue jeans and little else cocking a shotgun.
Man: Boa, thet's far nuff! Y'all tack noth'r steyep an' ahm a'partin' y'all's har!
As the camera stands there shaking, two other men come walking around the corner of the house, laughing at things. Cameron and Shawn Worley see what's happening before them and stop dead in their tracks.
Cameron Worley: Sheeit, doan shoot 'em, Willie!
The two brothers run over to stop the shotgun-wielding maniac.
Shawn Worley: WAYLON, Willie's bot shoot 'im sum Binky!
With that, four other men come walking out of the house. The first one, Waylon “Slider” Thompson, sports a beard, a stars and bars shirt and tight jeans. Next to him is a bigger man, his cousin, Roscoe “Bubba” Thompson, who could politely be called fat, wearing a trucker hat and a matching outfit just with the sleeves cut off, his goatee looking slightly sloppy compared to everyone else's here. Next to Bubba is a taller, more muscular man with long blond hair and a dark goatee, their Texas cousin, Ricky Ray Robertson, carrying a bull rope just in case. The fourth man, a smaller, more what would usually be called a pretty boy type, Slider's younger brother, Robbie Lee “RPM” Thompson, cocks his head as his family all rush in.
Slider: Willie, calm yo'sef an' put Binky don...
Willie frowns, still not lowering his gun.
Shotgun Willie: Who dey b?
Ricky Ray shakes his head, almost laughing.
Ricky Ray Robertson: Jayzus, Willie... jes a camra crew!
Bubba looks around
Bubba Thompson: Wha's he gon shoot'm?
Ricky Ray just pats the big man on the shoulder.
Ricky Ray Robertson: Doan worry bout't, Bubba... cum ouwn... les go ouwn back an' look at th' steeyil sum mo'. Y'all kin ev'n lat it this tom.
Bubba nods enthusiastically, looking like an overgrown child in the process. Ricky Ray leads him around the back of the house leaving everyone else to deal with the Willie situation. Slider and RPM walk down to Willie while Cameron and Shawn start to move in as well.
Slider: Naw, Willie... cumouwn, naw... Willie...
Willie slowly lowers his gun as Slider nods.
Slider: Thass rot, cumouwn naw... les go ouwn back to th' tayent.
Willie shakes his head before turning and walking up the front steps, across the porch and inside the house. Seconds later, he comes back out onto the porch with a wooden rocking chair. He sets it down on the porch and then sits down with his shotgun sitting across his lap. Slider, RPM, Cameron and Shawn watch him do this and just shake their heads.
Cameron Worley: Thainks, Waylon...
Slider nods and walks back up the steps, whispering something to the still unfriendly-looking Willie on the porch before disappearing inside the house.
RPM: Y'all goan b good, naw?
Cameron and Shawn nod and RPM smiles. He nods to them, turns and walks back up the steps after his brother. After he disappears inside, Cameron turns to the camera and shrugs.
Cameron Worley: Weyell, rack'n y'all's meyet th' famly, naw, ain't ya?
Shawn stares at Willie on the porch before turning to the camera and grinning.
Shawn Worley: Play sum SKYNNYRD!!!
Cameron smacks him.
Cameron Worley: Whut n' THE heyell you dune?
Shawn shrugs.
Shawn Worley: Jess tron t'have sum fun!
Cameron shakes his head.
Cameron Worley: Y'all dun seen this heeyer Song RAYall?
Shawn stares at his brother for a second before nodding.
Shawn Worley: Them's them reeyich boas? Kaint towk bot nuttin ayalse?
Cameron nods.
Cameron Worley: The same...
Shawn shakes his head.
Shawn Worley: Duz they strock y'all ayaz jes a tayad airgint?
Cameron nods slowly.
Cameron Worley: Jes a tayad... ah main, they did thank we whuz nammed affer a sowng!
Shawn looks around like this is the stupidest thing he's ever heard.
Shawn Worley: Wha?
Cameron Worley: Coz we dun used dat sowng fum Molly Haitchet bout th' famly...
Shawn shrugs.
Shawn Worley: So?
Cameron nods to the camera.
Cameron Worley: Weyell, we kaint b too spised sance they parintly hang wit Kol Travs.
Shawn's eyes go wide.
Shawn Worley: Warnt he dat ga, dun got bullied clane out New Era den climbed it war coz dey jes didn't unerstayand his janus?
Cameron nods.
Cameron Worley: The same...
Shawn rolls his eyes, knowing full well what that means.
Shawn Worley: Weyell sheeeit!
Cameron shakes his head.
Cameron Worley: Naw, jes sattle don, Shon... we ain't gotta warry nun bout Kol Travs in dis'n. We gotsta warry bout Con'r Murpha an' Gaberul Kron. Theyem boas same t'thank we's neeth'm jes cuz whothey Dadda b an' thet we muss jes b po whot trayash an' not warth the tom t'acshully do an'thin bout us ceyept'n jump t'concluzins fum our pact'rs.
Shawn shakes his head in disgust.
Shawn Worley: Wha dey gotsta b lock dat?
Cameron laughs.
Cameron Worley: Coz dey ain't gots nuthin'n ayalse t'say. They repit th' sam sheeit overn'over ageeyin, jes hop'n we's all too stoopid t'raloz they's jes sum keeyids kaint do sheeit thout Dadda's money an' thet kaint ev'n poll off thet reeyich luck thout avin t'bah sum mod'ls t'tayend t'b thays notly payses.
Shawn's eyes go wide.
Shawn Worley: Y'all sighin Con'r an' Gaberul kaint git layid thout pay'n?
Cameron nods.
Cameron Worley: Theys lock t'sume thangs too.
Shawn Worley: Lock?
Cameron shrugs.
Cameron Worley: We's po...
Shawn laughs.
Shawn Worley: Biggest dang yard iyin th' aria!
Cameron nods.
Cameron Worley: We's unedgecait'd...
Shawn laughs.
Shawn Worley: Col'ge grayads!
Cameron shrugs.
Cameron Worley: We's ain't got no histry in rasslin...
Shawn glances back towards the porch and then back to the camera.
Shawn Worley: Evry wun o'tham bin chayamps in Say Pay Dubya o' Are O Eyeff.
Cameron nods.
Cameron Worley: We wuz boern init too, y'all... git y'all's sheeit start fo y'all jes fon y'all'salves to'e up fum da flo'e up coz we is the Conebrad Mofya an we IZ cummin t'kick yo ass!
Shawn nods.
Shawn Worley: Amurkin bah birth...
Cameron Worley: An' suthern bah th' graysuf God!
The brother nods, glaring into the camera.
Cameron Worley: Naw suck ouwn dat, reeyich boas!
They turn and walk towards the house when Shawn throws something behind Cameron. It explodes at his feet and Cameron.
Cameron Worley: I swars, Imma kick yo ASS!!!
Shawn starts laughing and races towards the side of the house with Cameron in hot pursuit. As they disappear around the back, Willie stands up on the porch, pointing his gun at the camera again.
Shotgun Willie: Y'all kin b goan naw...
The camera slowly backs up the trail before jumping into a waiting SUV and peeling out leaving the Cornbread Mafia and family to their own devices.
Man: Boa, thet's far nuff! Y'all tack noth'r steyep an' ahm a'partin' y'all's har!
As the camera stands there shaking, two other men come walking around the corner of the house, laughing at things. Cameron and Shawn Worley see what's happening before them and stop dead in their tracks.
Cameron Worley: Sheeit, doan shoot 'em, Willie!
The two brothers run over to stop the shotgun-wielding maniac.
Shawn Worley: WAYLON, Willie's bot shoot 'im sum Binky!
With that, four other men come walking out of the house. The first one, Waylon “Slider” Thompson, sports a beard, a stars and bars shirt and tight jeans. Next to him is a bigger man, his cousin, Roscoe “Bubba” Thompson, who could politely be called fat, wearing a trucker hat and a matching outfit just with the sleeves cut off, his goatee looking slightly sloppy compared to everyone else's here. Next to Bubba is a taller, more muscular man with long blond hair and a dark goatee, their Texas cousin, Ricky Ray Robertson, carrying a bull rope just in case. The fourth man, a smaller, more what would usually be called a pretty boy type, Slider's younger brother, Robbie Lee “RPM” Thompson, cocks his head as his family all rush in.
Slider: Willie, calm yo'sef an' put Binky don...
Willie frowns, still not lowering his gun.
Shotgun Willie: Who dey b?
Ricky Ray shakes his head, almost laughing.
Ricky Ray Robertson: Jayzus, Willie... jes a camra crew!
Bubba looks around
Bubba Thompson: Wha's he gon shoot'm?
Ricky Ray just pats the big man on the shoulder.
Ricky Ray Robertson: Doan worry bout't, Bubba... cum ouwn... les go ouwn back an' look at th' steeyil sum mo'. Y'all kin ev'n lat it this tom.
Bubba nods enthusiastically, looking like an overgrown child in the process. Ricky Ray leads him around the back of the house leaving everyone else to deal with the Willie situation. Slider and RPM walk down to Willie while Cameron and Shawn start to move in as well.
Slider: Naw, Willie... cumouwn, naw... Willie...
Willie slowly lowers his gun as Slider nods.
Slider: Thass rot, cumouwn naw... les go ouwn back to th' tayent.
Willie shakes his head before turning and walking up the front steps, across the porch and inside the house. Seconds later, he comes back out onto the porch with a wooden rocking chair. He sets it down on the porch and then sits down with his shotgun sitting across his lap. Slider, RPM, Cameron and Shawn watch him do this and just shake their heads.
Cameron Worley: Thainks, Waylon...
Slider nods and walks back up the steps, whispering something to the still unfriendly-looking Willie on the porch before disappearing inside the house.
RPM: Y'all goan b good, naw?
Cameron and Shawn nod and RPM smiles. He nods to them, turns and walks back up the steps after his brother. After he disappears inside, Cameron turns to the camera and shrugs.
Cameron Worley: Weyell, rack'n y'all's meyet th' famly, naw, ain't ya?
Shawn stares at Willie on the porch before turning to the camera and grinning.
Shawn Worley: Play sum SKYNNYRD!!!
Cameron smacks him.
Cameron Worley: Whut n' THE heyell you dune?
Shawn shrugs.
Shawn Worley: Jess tron t'have sum fun!
Cameron shakes his head.
Cameron Worley: Y'all dun seen this heeyer Song RAYall?
Shawn stares at his brother for a second before nodding.
Shawn Worley: Them's them reeyich boas? Kaint towk bot nuttin ayalse?
Cameron nods.
Cameron Worley: The same...
Shawn shakes his head.
Shawn Worley: Duz they strock y'all ayaz jes a tayad airgint?
Cameron nods slowly.
Cameron Worley: Jes a tayad... ah main, they did thank we whuz nammed affer a sowng!
Shawn looks around like this is the stupidest thing he's ever heard.
Shawn Worley: Wha?
Cameron Worley: Coz we dun used dat sowng fum Molly Haitchet bout th' famly...
Shawn shrugs.
Shawn Worley: So?
Cameron nods to the camera.
Cameron Worley: Weyell, we kaint b too spised sance they parintly hang wit Kol Travs.
Shawn's eyes go wide.
Shawn Worley: Warnt he dat ga, dun got bullied clane out New Era den climbed it war coz dey jes didn't unerstayand his janus?
Cameron nods.
Cameron Worley: The same...
Shawn rolls his eyes, knowing full well what that means.
Shawn Worley: Weyell sheeeit!
Cameron shakes his head.
Cameron Worley: Naw, jes sattle don, Shon... we ain't gotta warry nun bout Kol Travs in dis'n. We gotsta warry bout Con'r Murpha an' Gaberul Kron. Theyem boas same t'thank we's neeth'm jes cuz whothey Dadda b an' thet we muss jes b po whot trayash an' not warth the tom t'acshully do an'thin bout us ceyept'n jump t'concluzins fum our pact'rs.
Shawn shakes his head in disgust.
Shawn Worley: Wha dey gotsta b lock dat?
Cameron laughs.
Cameron Worley: Coz dey ain't gots nuthin'n ayalse t'say. They repit th' sam sheeit overn'over ageeyin, jes hop'n we's all too stoopid t'raloz they's jes sum keeyids kaint do sheeit thout Dadda's money an' thet kaint ev'n poll off thet reeyich luck thout avin t'bah sum mod'ls t'tayend t'b thays notly payses.
Shawn's eyes go wide.
Shawn Worley: Y'all sighin Con'r an' Gaberul kaint git layid thout pay'n?
Cameron nods.
Cameron Worley: Theys lock t'sume thangs too.
Shawn Worley: Lock?
Cameron shrugs.
Cameron Worley: We's po...
Shawn laughs.
Shawn Worley: Biggest dang yard iyin th' aria!
Cameron nods.
Cameron Worley: We's unedgecait'd...
Shawn laughs.
Shawn Worley: Col'ge grayads!
Cameron shrugs.
Cameron Worley: We's ain't got no histry in rasslin...
Shawn glances back towards the porch and then back to the camera.
Shawn Worley: Evry wun o'tham bin chayamps in Say Pay Dubya o' Are O Eyeff.
Cameron nods.
Cameron Worley: We wuz boern init too, y'all... git y'all's sheeit start fo y'all jes fon y'all'salves to'e up fum da flo'e up coz we is the Conebrad Mofya an we IZ cummin t'kick yo ass!
Shawn nods.
Shawn Worley: Amurkin bah birth...
Cameron Worley: An' suthern bah th' graysuf God!
The brother nods, glaring into the camera.
Cameron Worley: Naw suck ouwn dat, reeyich boas!
They turn and walk towards the house when Shawn throws something behind Cameron. It explodes at his feet and Cameron.
Cameron Worley: I swars, Imma kick yo ASS!!!
Shawn starts laughing and races towards the side of the house with Cameron in hot pursuit. As they disappear around the back, Willie stands up on the porch, pointing his gun at the camera again.
Shotgun Willie: Y'all kin b goan naw...
The camera slowly backs up the trail before jumping into a waiting SUV and peeling out leaving the Cornbread Mafia and family to their own devices.
