Post by photographerbob on Mar 20, 2015 16:50:18 GMT -6
Johnny: You should be more excited about this opportunity than you are.
Bob: You don't think I'm excited?
Johnny and Bob are sitting at a small plastic table in their kitchen. Bob is eating cereal, Lucky Charms to be specific, out of a large white bowl. Johnny on the other hand is using his laptop while occasionally sipping on a mug of coffee.
Johnny: I'm just saying man, you haven't said a word about your upcoming match at all. For a while I wasn't even sure you knew you had a match.
Bob: Relax Johnny, I've known about this match since it was first made official.
Johnny: So you do actually get how big an opportunity this is then?
Bob: For the millionth time yes.
Now having finished his cereal, Bob gets up from his seat and takes his bowl to their small sink.
Bob: I mean it's not every day I get to team up with the super sexy goddess we are lucky enough to call our Television Champion, Lacey Roberts.
Johnny was in mid sip of coffee, and ends up coughing some of it up as Bob talks about his tag team partner.
Johnny: Wait, you think this match is important because Lacey Roberts is your partner?
Bob: Well yeah, why else would it be important?
Johnny: Because you are facing the current tag team champions in a tag team match.
Bob: Yeah, so?
Johnny: And the two of them come from wrestling families, and have been bred and groomed for this sport their entire lives.
Bob doesn't appear to impressed, as he walks back to the table and takes his seat.
Johnny: They've literally defeated every actual tag team in your company right now, and you and Lacey get a chance to compete against them.
Bob: I don't get it. How is this not about Lacey again?
Johnny: There is no clear cut contender for their tag team titles, so if you and Lacey could somehow pick up a win against them in this non title match up, it could be all you need to earn a championship opportunity against them down the road.
Bob: With Lacey Roberts?
Johnny: YES!
There is an awkward silence, as Bob tries to process all this new information, finally he seems to get it.
Bob: So like, if Lacey and I win this match we could potentially end up teaming up again.
Johnny: Yes.
Bob: With the tag team titles on the line and everything?
Johnny: Yes.
Bob nods his head, then jumps out of his chair and slams his fist down on the cheap plastic table.
Bob: WOO CONSIDER ME HYPED!
Johnny: That's what I'm talking about.
Bob: Yeah! I mean can you imagine how appreciative Lacey will be if I'm responsible for winning her ANOTHER championship belt!?
Johnny: What?
It doesn't appear Bob is too concerned with winning a title for himself, but his infatuation with Lacey Roberts is stronger than ever.
Bob: Think about it dude, I help her win the tag titles and there is no way we don't end up ya know...
Johnny stares on dumbfounded, as Bob throws his arms around himself giving himself a big hug, and pretending to make out with an invisible Lacey Roberts. The pantomime act continues as Bob pretends to pull down his pants.
Bob: You want this championship dick don't you Lacey!
Bob turns around, now pretending to play the part of Lacey Roberts, even trying his best to sound like Lacey
Bob: Hell yeah I do!
He turns around again, once again playing the role of Bob in this fantasy of his. He grabs the table and begins pelvic thrusting in it's direction.
Bob: You like that don't you? We're gonna make the world's best amateur porn video of all time!
Johnny is beginning to look nauseus, as Bob turns and plants his ass on the table top, throwing his legs up in the air as he takes the role of Lacey once more.
Bob: YES! YES! YES! DON'T STOP BOB! FILL ME WITH YOUR AMAZING MAN GOO!
Johnny: Okay that's about all I can take.
Bob snaps out of his fantasy, It seems he completely forgot Johnny was even there.
Bob: Anyway, you sort of get my point.
Johnny: Yes. Now get my point, as great as it would be to pick up this win Bob, the two guys you are facing are absolute killers. They have all the momentum in the world right now, undefeated in all of this year. They think very little of you, and the idea of losing probably makes them want to kill people. Like literally, kill people, you preferably. Do you get that, two thoroughbred second generation wrestlers will be looking to murder you in the ring just to prove a point. So you absolutely have to take htis match seriously.
Bob: I get it, my opponents are certified killers. I might be in a bit of danger.
Johnny: A bit? You forget about your tag team partner?
Bob: Like I ever could.
Johnny: They don't call Lacey the devil's little sister for nothing Bob. You two already screwed up your first effort teaming together, you cost her another match, and a potential shot at the tag titles, she might punish you herself, and not in a way you'd be into.
Bob: I can't possibly imagine Lacey doing anything to me that I wouldn't enjoy to some extent.
Johnny: Oh yeah, well what about her brother. It's bad enough you've been creeping on his sister since forever, but you tarnish her wrestling career along the way, you might get a visit from the devil himself. And something tells me when it comes to family, he'd not just kill you, but kill you slowly.
Now Bob finally seems to realize and accept how important and dangerous this upcoming match actually is.
Bob: You know what would help me then Johnny, if you'd let me borrow your laptop to do a little research.
Johnny: Never. Last time I let you borrow my laptop it came back with seventy six viruses.
Bob: Aw come on man you've got that awesome antivirus now, and you said it yourself this match could end up deciding whether or not I get to live to see another day. You really so cold that you'd send me into something like that unprepared.
His roommate sighs, but reluctantly pushes his laptop towards Bob.
Johnny: Fine, but you better promise me all you're gonna do is research your upcoming opponents.
Bob: Yup, promise, I'm gonna know everything there is about so and so and his partner.
Bob grabs the laptop, and takes a step away from the table.
Bob: And then I'll reward myself by researching my partner.
Johnny: Damn it Bob!
Bob: Oh shit, I have a new email. Oh shit it's from Lacey. Oh shit it's a video!
Johnny: Bob, focus, Sang Real, tag team titles, not dying.
Bob: Yeah, I get it, big deal and um...
We can hear Lacey's voice, though it's too low to hear her words, then we hear the sound of her shower.
Bob: I'll be in my bunk.
Bob takes off towards his bedroom, leaving Johnny to just shake his head and sip on his coffee. The next day Bob seems ready to go, like wrestling wise, not sex wise, though if Lacey were to show up he'd probably be ready for that too. Point is Bob is dressed in his wrestling attire, which isn't really wrestling attire to begin with. He stands in front of the camera, looking as fierce as he possibly can.
Bob: Hello Connor and Gabriel, and a special hello to you Lacey.
He winks with a smile, before continuing his video.
Bob: Soon, like super duper soon, the four of us will meet one another inside the ring. Connor and Gabe in one corner, Lacey and I in the other. At first glance, everyone would come to the conclusion that this is just a squash match for the tag team champions. Honestly it feels like only Lacey and myself even consider us to have a chance in this match up, and while that sort of hurts my feelings, I get it.
After looking around for a few seconds, Bob seems to remember where he placed something, then grabs a stack of small note cards from something the camera can't quite see.
Bob: Yeah so this year alone, Lacey and I started off pretty strong. I mean I picked up a win over some Dick, and Lacey defended her Television Championship, which is something the former champ never accomplished. That said our great start for the year didn't last long, as Lacey would lose to Shonne McGuire, which was a total fluke by the way. Me, I got it much worse, I got defeated by Vince Jones, and could probably have been sent to the hospital if Amy Zing didn't show up for the save. You all remember Amy right? Former TV Champ, I jumped her backstage once, then she jumped me back. Makes us even I guess, like no hard feelings or whatever, bygones be bygones point is she clearly hates Vince more than she hates me, which isn't terrible. Anyways Lacey and I didn't let these events hold us back, as we both bounced back with wins. I beat Cole Hunter, and Lacey beat the first ever World Champion Aerynn Donnely. Then I went on to open Tragic Engagement, sort of, with another win and Lacey once again defended her Television Championship. She beat Faith, and probably thought the same thing about her that you two think about us, that the match up was ridiculous. I mean what had Faith done to deserve a shot at Lacey? What have we done to earn a shot against Sang Real?
He throws away one note card, and looks at another, which seems to have the information about Sang Real on it.
Bob: This year alone you guys won the tag team titles in your first match of the year. Literally, I mean literally can't start off the year any better than that. You guys then beat the Sin City Knights, and took off Tragic Engagement which some say might suggest you aren't as important as those who were on the show. I like to think it was because the higher ups couldn't figure out who to put you up against next, which is possibly why you two are booked to face Lacey and myself, who have lost our only match together so far.
No longer needing the cards, Bob tosses them aside, a smile on his face.
Bob: I get the attitude, I don't like it but I get it. You two feel like you deserve better, in fact that sentence alone could pretty much sum up you two completely. No matter what you two get it isn't good enough, you should be respected like royalty, or better yet worshiped like gods. I mean Lacey is a champion, and we're both coming off wins, but still how dare either of us share the ring with the majestic and holy Sang Real. I hate that sort of mentality, and while some, if not most the people on the roster might not like me, they can atleast respect my work ethic. When UWA needs someone to welcome a newcomer to the company, they know Bob Brooks is their man. When they need a reliable guy to put on a show before the next super show even airs, they call up ole Bob Brooks to get it done. You see I take what is given to me, and don't complain about how unknown my opponent may be, or how little that victory might do for my career. I've kept my head down, dealt with the cards I've been dealt, and now, this is my chance to make something of myself. I consider this match a reward for my diligence, and while you two tag team champs might think of me as undeserving, I feel I earned this opportunity week in and week out. Maybe that's the problem though, you guys come from a completely different upbringing than I have. You guys grew up watching your family wrestle live, I grew up watching it on TV. You guys were trained from a young age knowing immediately this is what you would be doing, I went off to college and got a degree in photography, completely away from the wrestling world. Then when you guys were getting your time put in wrestling, I was simply watching it from behind a camera lens.
He pauses for a minute, really trying his best to understand their point of view.
Bob: The expectations of you two is set ridiculously high, while nobody expects a thing from a guy like me. Hell I'm only here because bullies like you exist in this sport, and one day I had all that I could take and fought back. You two strike me as guys who wouldn't hesitate to pick on the little guy. Verbally abuse a referee, physically assault a stage hand or a camera guy. It's just another reason out of a million I need this win. You asked the tag team division to step up, and instead you got the Television Champion and little Bob Brooks. I know Lacey is fired up, she's always game, bred from a wrestling family just like you two. Me, I'm the misfit in this match up, but you can bet your royal championship asses that I'm gonna step up. In fact you two get to be the stones of which I use to step up. Get it, stepping stones. Lacey and I are gonna work together like a well oiled machine.
While Bob is trying his best to be professional, the thought of Lacey Roberts and himself covered in oil is enough to cause a momentary distraction. It doesn't last too long however, as he quickly snaps back to reality.
Bob: Lacey and I are gonna knock you off your high horses, your pedestal, your fucking royal throne or whatever. We're gonna punish you both for overlooking us, and complaining about this match up even existing. We're gonna show the world why we have what it takes to become a genuine tag team, and when Lacey or myself pins or submits one of you two egomaniacs, it won't just be a win for us, it'll be a win for all the little guys everywhere. I've spent almost my entire life being the disappointment, so with everyone expecting you two to roll over us so easily, including your own family.
Bob can't help but smile.
Bob: Soon I make you two walk a mile in my shoes, and we'll see if you don't come back a little more humble after losing to a misfit like me. The disappointment, I'm not sure you'll be able to handle it. Thing is, you better get used to it quick, because after Lacey and I beat the two of you, we're gonna do it again. Except next time, we expect the titles to be on the line.
Bob makes a belt motion with his hands around his waist, then everything fades to black.
Bob: You don't think I'm excited?
Johnny and Bob are sitting at a small plastic table in their kitchen. Bob is eating cereal, Lucky Charms to be specific, out of a large white bowl. Johnny on the other hand is using his laptop while occasionally sipping on a mug of coffee.
Johnny: I'm just saying man, you haven't said a word about your upcoming match at all. For a while I wasn't even sure you knew you had a match.
Bob: Relax Johnny, I've known about this match since it was first made official.
Johnny: So you do actually get how big an opportunity this is then?
Bob: For the millionth time yes.
Now having finished his cereal, Bob gets up from his seat and takes his bowl to their small sink.
Bob: I mean it's not every day I get to team up with the super sexy goddess we are lucky enough to call our Television Champion, Lacey Roberts.
Johnny was in mid sip of coffee, and ends up coughing some of it up as Bob talks about his tag team partner.
Johnny: Wait, you think this match is important because Lacey Roberts is your partner?
Bob: Well yeah, why else would it be important?
Johnny: Because you are facing the current tag team champions in a tag team match.
Bob: Yeah, so?
Johnny: And the two of them come from wrestling families, and have been bred and groomed for this sport their entire lives.
Bob doesn't appear to impressed, as he walks back to the table and takes his seat.
Johnny: They've literally defeated every actual tag team in your company right now, and you and Lacey get a chance to compete against them.
Bob: I don't get it. How is this not about Lacey again?
Johnny: There is no clear cut contender for their tag team titles, so if you and Lacey could somehow pick up a win against them in this non title match up, it could be all you need to earn a championship opportunity against them down the road.
Bob: With Lacey Roberts?
Johnny: YES!
There is an awkward silence, as Bob tries to process all this new information, finally he seems to get it.
Bob: So like, if Lacey and I win this match we could potentially end up teaming up again.
Johnny: Yes.
Bob: With the tag team titles on the line and everything?
Johnny: Yes.
Bob nods his head, then jumps out of his chair and slams his fist down on the cheap plastic table.
Bob: WOO CONSIDER ME HYPED!
Johnny: That's what I'm talking about.
Bob: Yeah! I mean can you imagine how appreciative Lacey will be if I'm responsible for winning her ANOTHER championship belt!?
Johnny: What?
It doesn't appear Bob is too concerned with winning a title for himself, but his infatuation with Lacey Roberts is stronger than ever.
Bob: Think about it dude, I help her win the tag titles and there is no way we don't end up ya know...
Johnny stares on dumbfounded, as Bob throws his arms around himself giving himself a big hug, and pretending to make out with an invisible Lacey Roberts. The pantomime act continues as Bob pretends to pull down his pants.
Bob: You want this championship dick don't you Lacey!
Bob turns around, now pretending to play the part of Lacey Roberts, even trying his best to sound like Lacey
Bob: Hell yeah I do!
He turns around again, once again playing the role of Bob in this fantasy of his. He grabs the table and begins pelvic thrusting in it's direction.
Bob: You like that don't you? We're gonna make the world's best amateur porn video of all time!
Johnny is beginning to look nauseus, as Bob turns and plants his ass on the table top, throwing his legs up in the air as he takes the role of Lacey once more.
Bob: YES! YES! YES! DON'T STOP BOB! FILL ME WITH YOUR AMAZING MAN GOO!
Johnny: Okay that's about all I can take.
Bob snaps out of his fantasy, It seems he completely forgot Johnny was even there.
Bob: Anyway, you sort of get my point.
Johnny: Yes. Now get my point, as great as it would be to pick up this win Bob, the two guys you are facing are absolute killers. They have all the momentum in the world right now, undefeated in all of this year. They think very little of you, and the idea of losing probably makes them want to kill people. Like literally, kill people, you preferably. Do you get that, two thoroughbred second generation wrestlers will be looking to murder you in the ring just to prove a point. So you absolutely have to take htis match seriously.
Bob: I get it, my opponents are certified killers. I might be in a bit of danger.
Johnny: A bit? You forget about your tag team partner?
Bob: Like I ever could.
Johnny: They don't call Lacey the devil's little sister for nothing Bob. You two already screwed up your first effort teaming together, you cost her another match, and a potential shot at the tag titles, she might punish you herself, and not in a way you'd be into.
Bob: I can't possibly imagine Lacey doing anything to me that I wouldn't enjoy to some extent.
Johnny: Oh yeah, well what about her brother. It's bad enough you've been creeping on his sister since forever, but you tarnish her wrestling career along the way, you might get a visit from the devil himself. And something tells me when it comes to family, he'd not just kill you, but kill you slowly.
Now Bob finally seems to realize and accept how important and dangerous this upcoming match actually is.
Bob: You know what would help me then Johnny, if you'd let me borrow your laptop to do a little research.
Johnny: Never. Last time I let you borrow my laptop it came back with seventy six viruses.
Bob: Aw come on man you've got that awesome antivirus now, and you said it yourself this match could end up deciding whether or not I get to live to see another day. You really so cold that you'd send me into something like that unprepared.
His roommate sighs, but reluctantly pushes his laptop towards Bob.
Johnny: Fine, but you better promise me all you're gonna do is research your upcoming opponents.
Bob: Yup, promise, I'm gonna know everything there is about so and so and his partner.
Bob grabs the laptop, and takes a step away from the table.
Bob: And then I'll reward myself by researching my partner.
Johnny: Damn it Bob!
Bob: Oh shit, I have a new email. Oh shit it's from Lacey. Oh shit it's a video!
Johnny: Bob, focus, Sang Real, tag team titles, not dying.
Bob: Yeah, I get it, big deal and um...
We can hear Lacey's voice, though it's too low to hear her words, then we hear the sound of her shower.
Bob: I'll be in my bunk.
Bob takes off towards his bedroom, leaving Johnny to just shake his head and sip on his coffee. The next day Bob seems ready to go, like wrestling wise, not sex wise, though if Lacey were to show up he'd probably be ready for that too. Point is Bob is dressed in his wrestling attire, which isn't really wrestling attire to begin with. He stands in front of the camera, looking as fierce as he possibly can.
Bob: Hello Connor and Gabriel, and a special hello to you Lacey.
He winks with a smile, before continuing his video.
Bob: Soon, like super duper soon, the four of us will meet one another inside the ring. Connor and Gabe in one corner, Lacey and I in the other. At first glance, everyone would come to the conclusion that this is just a squash match for the tag team champions. Honestly it feels like only Lacey and myself even consider us to have a chance in this match up, and while that sort of hurts my feelings, I get it.
After looking around for a few seconds, Bob seems to remember where he placed something, then grabs a stack of small note cards from something the camera can't quite see.
Bob: Yeah so this year alone, Lacey and I started off pretty strong. I mean I picked up a win over some Dick, and Lacey defended her Television Championship, which is something the former champ never accomplished. That said our great start for the year didn't last long, as Lacey would lose to Shonne McGuire, which was a total fluke by the way. Me, I got it much worse, I got defeated by Vince Jones, and could probably have been sent to the hospital if Amy Zing didn't show up for the save. You all remember Amy right? Former TV Champ, I jumped her backstage once, then she jumped me back. Makes us even I guess, like no hard feelings or whatever, bygones be bygones point is she clearly hates Vince more than she hates me, which isn't terrible. Anyways Lacey and I didn't let these events hold us back, as we both bounced back with wins. I beat Cole Hunter, and Lacey beat the first ever World Champion Aerynn Donnely. Then I went on to open Tragic Engagement, sort of, with another win and Lacey once again defended her Television Championship. She beat Faith, and probably thought the same thing about her that you two think about us, that the match up was ridiculous. I mean what had Faith done to deserve a shot at Lacey? What have we done to earn a shot against Sang Real?
He throws away one note card, and looks at another, which seems to have the information about Sang Real on it.
Bob: This year alone you guys won the tag team titles in your first match of the year. Literally, I mean literally can't start off the year any better than that. You guys then beat the Sin City Knights, and took off Tragic Engagement which some say might suggest you aren't as important as those who were on the show. I like to think it was because the higher ups couldn't figure out who to put you up against next, which is possibly why you two are booked to face Lacey and myself, who have lost our only match together so far.
No longer needing the cards, Bob tosses them aside, a smile on his face.
Bob: I get the attitude, I don't like it but I get it. You two feel like you deserve better, in fact that sentence alone could pretty much sum up you two completely. No matter what you two get it isn't good enough, you should be respected like royalty, or better yet worshiped like gods. I mean Lacey is a champion, and we're both coming off wins, but still how dare either of us share the ring with the majestic and holy Sang Real. I hate that sort of mentality, and while some, if not most the people on the roster might not like me, they can atleast respect my work ethic. When UWA needs someone to welcome a newcomer to the company, they know Bob Brooks is their man. When they need a reliable guy to put on a show before the next super show even airs, they call up ole Bob Brooks to get it done. You see I take what is given to me, and don't complain about how unknown my opponent may be, or how little that victory might do for my career. I've kept my head down, dealt with the cards I've been dealt, and now, this is my chance to make something of myself. I consider this match a reward for my diligence, and while you two tag team champs might think of me as undeserving, I feel I earned this opportunity week in and week out. Maybe that's the problem though, you guys come from a completely different upbringing than I have. You guys grew up watching your family wrestle live, I grew up watching it on TV. You guys were trained from a young age knowing immediately this is what you would be doing, I went off to college and got a degree in photography, completely away from the wrestling world. Then when you guys were getting your time put in wrestling, I was simply watching it from behind a camera lens.
He pauses for a minute, really trying his best to understand their point of view.
Bob: The expectations of you two is set ridiculously high, while nobody expects a thing from a guy like me. Hell I'm only here because bullies like you exist in this sport, and one day I had all that I could take and fought back. You two strike me as guys who wouldn't hesitate to pick on the little guy. Verbally abuse a referee, physically assault a stage hand or a camera guy. It's just another reason out of a million I need this win. You asked the tag team division to step up, and instead you got the Television Champion and little Bob Brooks. I know Lacey is fired up, she's always game, bred from a wrestling family just like you two. Me, I'm the misfit in this match up, but you can bet your royal championship asses that I'm gonna step up. In fact you two get to be the stones of which I use to step up. Get it, stepping stones. Lacey and I are gonna work together like a well oiled machine.
While Bob is trying his best to be professional, the thought of Lacey Roberts and himself covered in oil is enough to cause a momentary distraction. It doesn't last too long however, as he quickly snaps back to reality.
Bob: Lacey and I are gonna knock you off your high horses, your pedestal, your fucking royal throne or whatever. We're gonna punish you both for overlooking us, and complaining about this match up even existing. We're gonna show the world why we have what it takes to become a genuine tag team, and when Lacey or myself pins or submits one of you two egomaniacs, it won't just be a win for us, it'll be a win for all the little guys everywhere. I've spent almost my entire life being the disappointment, so with everyone expecting you two to roll over us so easily, including your own family.
Bob can't help but smile.
Bob: Soon I make you two walk a mile in my shoes, and we'll see if you don't come back a little more humble after losing to a misfit like me. The disappointment, I'm not sure you'll be able to handle it. Thing is, you better get used to it quick, because after Lacey and I beat the two of you, we're gonna do it again. Except next time, we expect the titles to be on the line.
Bob makes a belt motion with his hands around his waist, then everything fades to black.